My goals for 2016

This process took a lot longer this year than it did last year, because I learned a lot of what to do, and what not to do from last year, and so I was a lot more intentional and focused with my goals.  I tried really hard to capture small, specific, realistic, and physical steps for my goals, as Lara suggests in the powersheets.  She has room for ten, but I only came up with eight - room to grow I guess.

1.  Love my husband well.  Some of the action ideas that I have are: monthly dates ( both having time out of the house just us, but also planning some nights-in as well), Reading a marriage book, praying for him daily, and making sure I treat time with him as a priority and not just fit it in where and when I can.  I am also thinking about maybe attending a marriage conference together.

2. Cherish my kids and invest in them and their future.  Pray for them daily, help them to memorize scripture, pray with them every night before bed, create and implement a chore chart to teach them responsibility, and spend time with them monthly, one on one.

3.  Keep God at the center and grow deeper in relationship with Him.  Have early morning quiet times, memorize a new passage of scripture each week, journal what I am reading, complete "Open Your Bible" study that I got for Christmas!  I am also praying to become part of a small group or about staring an accountability/prayer partnership with one of my friends.

4.  Practice healthy living and make positive choices for my body.  This includes working out for thirty minutes 3-5 times a week, drinking at least 64 oz of water per day, counting my calories and trying to stick to my goal of 1300 daily, trying to get in my 10k steps a day!

5.  Have a gentle spirit.  List gratitude(s) daily, memorize scripture, read Putting on a Gentle and Quiet Spirit by Elizabeth George, and starting each day with prayer and time with the Lord.  This also includes other things that aren't translated well into actionable items, but I am going to try to work on yelling less when my kids aren't behaving, also simple things like smiling more, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and seeing the positive in things.

6. Invest in others and be in community with them - Share the gospel in word and deed.  I want to pray daily for my friends, make time for relationship each month, pray for opportunities to share the gospel with them if they don't know Him, or just encourage and be a light to others, reach out more - even if it is a quick text to say hello, get involved in the community- maybe volunteering my time, get more involved in the Influence Network. 

7. Take time to rest and recharge.  Lara includes a page dedicated to this each month, but I wanted to make it one of my goals, because I am not good at being intentional with rest.  I want to make sure that with all my goals and ideas for 2016, I am creating margin and allowing myself the freedom to do things that I want to do this year.  This includes making a bucket list of things that I want to accomplish this year (even little things like making macaroons!), reading books on my 2016 reading list ( I currently have 21 books on there!!), and balancing time with friends with time alone.

8.  Invest in the future.  This means that we need to create an actual working budget and stick to it, get life insurance, and being a savings plan for a house one day.  ( Lord willing!)

What goals do you have for 2016?

My themes for 2016 and how I begin the goal process

Every December I get so excited about setting goals and creating a vision for what I want the next year to look like.  I love getting out all my tools like my planner ( the simplified planner is what I am using for 2016!), my favorite pens, markers, washi tape, and most important - my powersheets !  I have mentioned these in the past, and while not essential for goal setting, I wouldn't begin without them personally.  They have helped me so much and it makes the process meaningful, but also fun!  She is actually sold out of these right now, but may get more in the spring.  

After I have all my tools, I start writing five themes or areas of focus that I have for the next year.  You can read my posts about this last year here  and here. This year I decided I wanted to focus on GRACE (giving it to myself and also others), PURPOSE ( making the moments count, being present, and making what matters happen), HEALTH (make good choices, more water and exercise, work at my step goal!), GOD-CENTERED (put God first, let Him build the house), and LOVE (for my family and friends, and share God's love with others.)

The next thing is I dive into my powersheets, and being the goal-setting process.  I have an idea of some goals that will flow out of my themes, and so I start writing down all of the ideas and steps that I would like to take to make realistic goals out of my themes for the year.  This is definitely not an easy process, and if you are taking it seriously and being really intentional about your goals it can take several days.  I try to set aside the week after Christmas and before New Year's to really focus on this, but starting earlier is good too!  I try to lift up my thoughts about goals in prayer for a lot of December, because I know that if they aren't in His plan for me, then they aren't the best goals for me.  It takes time, prayer, and listening to really accomplish the goal-setting process.

Another helpful thing is making a mood board or vision board on pinterest.  Lara talks about this in the powersheets, and is one of the steps she suggests for goal setting (if you don't want to make a pinterest boad, you can make one right in your powersheets if you want to cut and paste out of magazines, etc.)  I find the pinterest board idea really helpful, because I can pin ideas and resources to help me with my goals.  For example, I want to focus on health this year, and am thinking about completing the Whole30 Challenge at some point (possibly for lent) so I have pinned a few helpful tips and lists to refer back to if I decide to do this.  I pinned some motivational quotes from Jillian Michael's (health) as well as some inspirational pictures from She Reads Truth ( God-centered).  I really encourage you to create a vision board for 2016! It is really helpful as a visual way to capture your goals, and it is really fun!  What are your themes for this year?

My hopes for this advent season

This month started out wonderful.   I had completed most of my Christmas to-do's - cards were ordered, addressed, and stamped and just waiting for December to arrive to be mailed.  I had finished almost all of my Christmas shopping ( and wrapping!) and I was looking forward to my advent activities with the girls.  Although, a couple days ago something happened and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  There is no other way to describe it.  I was off, and I didn't know how to fix it.  I started feeling the season slipping away - the joy was gone, the anticipation was gone, and I started to think about all the things that weren't how they should be.  So I decided to go back to my journaling from a few days into the advent season of what I wanted this season to look like.

I want it to be a season of:

anticipation - Christ's coming and how He will show up for me again this season.
freedom - from the bondage of to-do lists and being bogged down by expectations
rest - true rest for my body, heart, and soul.  I want slow quiet mornings and peace from Him.
joy - I want to celebrate Him and I want to treasure this time with my children.
meaning - I want each activity, every task or event to carry with it some weight.  I want to ponder them and soak them all in.  Savor each moment and take it slow.

I started to think about how I could get back to this and I realized that one of the things that I was missing was spending my mornings with Jesus.  I have been so physically tired, that I was sleeping through my alarm and then missing out on those quiet mornings.  I didn't protect my bedtime like I should, so I was going to bed later as well, adding to the exhaustion.  My mornings were rushed, prayer time was cut short, workouts became non-existent, and I was feeling the strain physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I needed to get back on track.

I had the first real prayer time in days this morning, mostly because it was the first time in days that I had time to do this, while still being able to sleep in.  I prayed that God would help me take the steps I needed to get back on track, and I also prayed that from now on I would submit to His plan for me this season, rather than me trying to make up a plan for Him to follow.

I want to protect my bedtime and go to bed when I should, so that I can get up early and spend time with Jesus first thing.  I want to have dedicated prayer time that won't be cut short by morning tasks and getting kids dressed and on the bus.  This is when I feel my best mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I want to get back into my workouts, and even if I only manage three a week, that is better than nothing.  I want to make sure I am getting the water that I need in a day, and eating like I should, because this is when I physically feel my best.  I also want to give myself - and others -  more grace.  It is a process and nothing happens overnight.

I feel clear-headed for the first time in days, and I am thankful for the Lord meeting me right where I am.  I pray that He helps me do what I need to do to in order to keep moving forward.  I pray that He helps me to keep my eyes on Him during this season, not the severity of the storms or the size of the waves that crash around me. I want this Christmas season to be one of anticipation, freedom, rest, joy, and meaning.  I want to finish out this year well, and be ready to take on the next year with a hopeful and expectant heart.

Day 30 - My thoughts after one month and December Resolutions

I am so glad I made it the whole month with blogging.  I did share them late at times, but at least I did 30 posts in all.  I did not do half of my cards of encouragement, because I forgot about them most of the time, but at least I did half.  I finished my "book" and I did my best to ignore the numbers both here and on Instagram.  This was a little harder to do, when it came to my business, but I have been  thinking a lot about my business Instagram, and if I am going to keep it up.  I feel guilty for not posting every day, twice a day, and it is carrying over into my personal account, and I have just been avoiding the whole thing.  This is not like me, and so I am doing a lot of thinking about where I want to go from here.  As far as feeling happier?  I am not sure I feel happier, but I do feel accomplished for finishing the month out, and I do think that I will continue to blog my happiness project from here forward, but will definitely not be posting every day.  I will be happy with once a week, to be honest.

As for my December resolutions, December's focus is on Parenthood - Spread Joy.
My resolutions are:
- Take time to listen
- Acknowledge the reality of people's feelings
- Make happy memories 
- Document life

The first two resolutions are pretty self-explanatory and I think that I need to work on the first one more with my older daughter, and the second one is geared more towards my youngest.  As far as making happy memories, this is the holiday season and we do an advent activity each day in December leading up to Christmas.  This is a great way to make memories, and the girls and I look forward to it each year.  I also plan on taking a photo a day in the month of December, as a way of documenting life.  I have heard of making a December Daily mini-album, and I am not sure if I will do this or not, but it is an idea to consider.

Day 29 - Dear Santa, My wishful thinking Christmas List

If I could pick five things that I would love to have this Christmas, no matter the cost, I would choose these:

1. A new fitbit flex.  ( mine suffered an unfortunate accident.)

2. A new house.

3. Some (or all) of the books on my previous blog post.

4. this blanket scarf

5. Holy Donut Coffee - as many bags as I could get.  It is my favorite coffee ever.

So if any one is looking for gift ideas for me, feel free to select any of the above.  :)

Day 28 - Meet Scout

Scout is our Elf on the Shelf, and the girls look forward to him coming around every year.  He always makes his first appearance the day after Thanksgiving, and each morning the girls love searching for him.  He gets into a lot of mischief, whether he turns the milk green, or he throws toilet paper all over our tree.

Pinterest is my best friend when it comes to ideas for him, although some of them are a bit too much for me.  He is fun, the girls love it, and so that is the most important part to focus on -  I am not trying to win any awards for how clever or creative his adventures are.  As long as you don't let it overwhelm you by falling into that trap, he is a fun addition to our holiday celebrations.

Day 27 - Advent activity ideas

Advent starts December 1, and every year I plan activities for us all to do each day.  I thought I would share a few of our activities to give you some of our ideas if this is something you are interested in doing.

- Bake cookies for the library, the fire department, ( the orthodontist, the neighbors, etc.)

- Watch a Christmas movie with popcorn.

- Watch the Christmas classics (Rudolph, Frosty, Mickey's Christmas Carol, etc) and have hot chocolate.

- Dress in PJ's and go for a drive to look at Christmas lights.  This year I am planning on searching pinterest for a Bingo or Scavenger Hunt idea to use while we look.  I think it will be really fun this way.

- Wrap our teacher's Christmas presents.

- Go Christmas shopping for each other and our dog.

- Make Reindeer Dust.  Check pinterest for this too - there are a million different ways to do this.

- Have a picnic dinner under the Christmas tree, and listen to Christmas music.

- Write a letter to santa, and a gratitude letter to Jesus.

- Decorate gingerbread houses.

- Decorate Christmas cookies with Gigi.

Day 26 - 5 things I am thankful for right now

I hope everyone had a very happy Thanksgiving!  Once again, this is late, but I will share what I am most thankful for right now, in no particular order.

1.  A safe trip.  We traveled almost 2000 miles and traveled by plenty of accidents, and through a lot of heavy traffic.  We got lost in New York because the GPS had a weird setting enabled that we didn't know about, and that resulted in a very VERY frustrating twenty minutes, among crazy one-way streets and unknown territory, but we made it.

2. My husband.  So the part where we got lost in New York?  Yeah, I had a bit of a meltdown and I was so tired and wanting to be in my bed, but all I saw was being lost on the streets of New York for hours and hours, and never getting out, and this made me lose it.  He threw on the flashers, made me switch with him so that he could drive, and about four u-turns later, we were out and back on the road, and I felt much better.  He got me to calm down, and he didn't give me much crap about it.

3.  My family and friends.  I am thankful for each of them and so blessed to have them all in my life.
 
4. My Christmas tree.  I am really glad that it is already decorated, especially given how tired I am from our trip!  Plus, it is just so pretty!

5.  Advent starting tomorrow.  I am so excited that advent starts tomorrow, and I can't wait to see how God uses this time to bring me closer to Him and to my family.

Day 25 - How to road trip with kids

So we went out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday, and due to being on the road and visiting with family, I got very far behind on blogging.  Now it is time to play catch-up.

We had about a seventeen and a half hour trip ahead of us.  We planned on leaving at 4 in the morning, and ended up pulling into the hotel parking lot at almost 10pm.  It was a looooong trip and we were all ready for it to be over.  Charlotte was already asleep, and Rory finally fell asleep about thirty minutes before we got there.

In order to survive this trip, we had a few tricks up our sleeve.  First, we have portable tv/dvd players that hook up behind the two front seats for them to watch.  We went to the library and rented out the max amount of DVDs, and these played on repeat the entire trip.  (This helps with the fighting in the backseat immensely).

We are also not above bribing.  We have a special "treat envelope" which is just a big manila envelope that is full of dollar store items.  Every hour or so that they are good, they get something out of the envelope to play with.  We had things like colored pencils and notebooks, PEZ candies, little dolls, glow in the dark necklaces, and tic tacs.  By the time they are bored with it, they only have a few minutes to go until the next one.  It works perfectly.

We have plenty of snacks available as well, so that we don't have any hunger meltdowns.  We try not to stop too much, but of course little bladders need to attended to, and quickly.  We stopped for lunch and dinner early, to avoid the rush and we made sure that we gassed up and went to the bathroom each time we stopped, to avoid any stops in between.  We did really well, and the main reason out trip took four hours longer than the GPS originally told us as we pulled out of our driveway, was due to so. much, traffic.  Ugh!

All in all, it was a pretty good trip and the kids did really well.  I definitely think it helps to be prepared and to stock up on fun things for the kids, as well as making sure they have something to distract them from the long trip (whether this is a DVD player, or travel games).

Day 24- Cinnamon Ornaments Recipe

CINNAMON ORNAMENTS

Ingredients:

1 c. ground cinnamon

1 T. cloves

1 T. nutmeg

3/4 c. applesauce

2 T. white glue

Directions:

1. Combine cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg.  Add applesauce and glue, stirring to combine.  Work mixture with hands for 2-3 minutes.  If your mixture is too dry, add an extra teaspoon of glue and a tablespoon of applesauce.  If it is too wet, sprinkle cinnamon and mix in until it is easily workable.

2.  Divide mixture into four parts.  Roll each to 1/4" thickness.  Sometimes it is helpful to roll them out between two sheets of wax paper.  Cut out desired shapes.  Use a straw to create a hole at the top for the ribbon.  Place on a wire wrack and allow to dry at room temperature for about two days.  Turn over after the first day.

3.  Tie with ribbon to hang on the tree.  You can decorate your ornaments with craft paint or even glitter if you would like.  After awhile, the ornaments start to lose their scent, so you can add a drop or two of cinnamon oil to them when that happens.

Day 23 - Conclusion to the Waiting Season

In conclusion, waiting does have purpose.  It is hard and it is painful.  Sometimes there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and sometimes that light never comes.  However, God uses every season to bring us closer to Him and to teach us more about himself.  He develops our character into strong and trusting individuals, and He allows the experiences to grow us into better people.  When we are going through a waiting season, we can encourage and come alongside others who are in a similar place.  

As I have walked through my own waiting seasons, I have learned a lot about myself in the process, and who I am in Christ.  I have also learned a lot about who God is, and what He would have for me.  I have trusted Him more deeply as a result of all that I have gone through.  Waiting is hard, but it meaningful.  Do not lose heart.

Day 22 - My Waiting Season - Part 3

Another time that I found myself in a very hard waiting season was when I was in my last job.  During this time I endured hurtful and spiteful comments about my character that were untrue and completely subjective.  It went on for months, and I had to pray that God would give me the strength just to walk in the door each day.  It was during this time that I thought of the idea for this book, because I wanted to share with others what I had been learning.

I learned that God is enough.  No matter what my coworkers said about me, or how my managers decided to handle the situation, I knew that I was a child of the King. The words He spoke over me were true, that I was loved, redeemed, cherished and precious.  The rest of the words that I heard throughout the day lost their power in light of my identity in Christ.

I learned that His ways are best. I prayed that He would take me out of the situation and I thought of a hundred ways that He could do it.  In the end, it was a completely different scenario than I had ever envisioned, but it was better than I could have dreamed.

I learned that anything that brings me closer to Jesus is the best thing for me.  I wouldn't go back and change it because it caused me to trust in Him completely and to make Him Lord of my life over and over, day after day.  I had to keep giving it all to Him and trusting Him for His best.

Day 21 - Thoughts on HP after 3 weeks

Once again I forgot to post this on the actual day it was to be posted, but Saturday's are busy around here and so now I am playing catch up again.  I will be glad when I no longer have to post every day, but I have found that it comes more easily to me than I thought.  I am still not a "blogger" and never will be I don't think, but I might try and do a better job keeping this up every once and a while.

As far as the notes that I was going to send - well I didn't send one last week because I forgot.  I worked a lot and we had appointments to go to and there was a million things to do.  I am lucky I only missed one day of posting to be honest.  I will try and send one this week, but we are going out of town for the holiday, so we'll see if that happens.

Day 20 - Favorite Holiday Traditions

Thanksgiving has always been the opposite of Christmas as far as tradition is concerned, with the exception of the menu.  There is always turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, hot sausage stuffing, and plenty of pie.  The other sides can vary, and we often rotate which grandmother's house we go to and even that isn't held tightly.  I have spent Thanksgiving at a boyfriend's house, I have been sick for a Thanksgiving and missed it all together.  I don't mind if Thanksgiving isn't observed the same way or with the same people.

Christmas is a different story.  For me, it is magical and precious, and I love everything about the season - from the music to the lights, from the tree to Christmas breakfast.  We have traditions that go back into my childhood.  Some things I have added or changed now that I have my own children, but a lot of these traditions are in my earliest Christmas memories.

* We have a "rule" that we start playing Christmas music after Thanksgiving or after we see the first snow flakes fly - whichever comes first.

* We always celebrate advent as a family.  Each day we read a different activity that we are going to do that day, whether it is decorate gingerbread houses, or go Christmas shopping for each other.

* We always go to my grandmother's on Christmas Eve.  This is one of my most treasured holiday traditions.  She always has her house decorated so festively, with such yummy food and drinks.  She is an amazing hostess and I feel like I am going to a party for the evening.

* We started a tradition about four years ago where we make sangria to bring to my grandmothers on Christmas Eve.  We always make it a little differently, but each time it is absolutely delicious.  Dangerously so.

* We always listen to Manheim Steamroller on the way home on Christmas Eve.  We have it timed precisely of when we start the cd, so that the very last notes of the last song ( Silent Night - my favorite ) are quietly fading away as we pull into our drive.

* We always leave a new book wrapped in tissue paper on the floor so that when my kids wake up on Christmas morning, they can look at the book until it is time to get up and open presents ( I do not condone the 4:30 wake up time on Christmas morning.  We start at 7am and no earlier. ) My mom did this with us, so it has always stuck.

* We always wait to bring up the presents to put under the tree on Christmas Even once the kids are in bed.  They get so excited to see what Santa has brought!

* Before we open presents, I always read the story of Jesus' birth from the Storybook Bible to my girls.  Every year I tear up as I read it.  What a gift his birth was (and is) to us! He came as a babe just to die, so that we may live. If that doesn't give you joy and hope, I don't know what does!

* We always open stockings first and they hold a combination of wrapped and unwrapped items.  I usually include things they need like shampoo or hair elastics, and I always include a DVD.  This way we slowly build our DVD collection over the years.  ( Especially helpful as we don't have cable!)

* I number each of my girls' gifts so that they open them in the correct order ( for example, if they get an American girl doll, I make sure they open that before they open the clothes for it.  I also make sure that the BIG gift isn't the first one they open.)  This also helps to ensure that each girl opens a similar item at the same time so that there isn't any arguing about who got what.  I would like to think this would never happen on Christmas morning, but they are still young girls and I don't take any chances.

* After we celebrate at our own homes, my sister and I take our families over to my parents where we have breakfast and then exchange gifts there.  We always have "Christmas Casserole' which is just an egg and sausage casserole and all three families make one to bring.  We each make it just a little bit differently, so it is fun to try each one.

*My sister always makes hot buttered rum for Christmas morning ( a relatively new tradition, but a great one!)

* In years past, we went to my other grandparents house after this, but it got too busy and a lot of us have to work the next day, so we stopped doing that.  (They live quite a distance away).  Usually we plan another day to see them and celebrate.

* We always meet back at my parent's house for Christmas dinner.  It is always Chinese food, and we always watch National Lampoon's Christmas vacation while we eat.  My dad has gotten really good at editing the movie with the mute button at certain parts of the movie.  (i.e. after Chevy Chase gets his jelly of the month club "bonus")

Each of these traditions are special and contribute to making the holidays special.  I am so looking forward to them this year!

Day 19 - Some favorite thanksgiving day recipes

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is a week away! Where has this year gone, seriously?!?  I thought I would share some of my most favorite Thanksgiving recipes for you to enjoy.  I love this meal almost more than any other, and dessert is the best part! Let me know if you try any recipes, I'd love to hear what you think!

CREAMY DREAMY MASHED POTATOES

source: Bride & Groom First and Forever Cookbook

Ingredients

2 lbs. Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cut into 2 inch pieces

Kosher salt

3/4 cup heavy cream

2 tbs unsalted butter

1/4 cup milk, plus more as needed

1 cup grated white cheddar cheese

2 tsp grated onion

Freshly ground pepper

Directions

1. Put the potatoes in a large saucepan and cover with cold salted water. Bring just to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat to low, and simmer until the potatoes are tender when pierced with a fork, about 20 minutes. Drain.

2. Meanwhile, heat cream, butter and 1/4 cup milk in a small saucepan over medium heat. While potatoes are hot, mash with a potato masher or fork. Return potatoes to the large saucepan and fold in the warm cram mixture, then the cheese and 2 tsp onion. Season with salt and pepper to taste, thinning with additional milk to the desired consistency.

HOT SAUSAGE STUFFING

source: my grandmother

Ingredients

2 1/2 cups chicken broth

2 stalks celery, coarsely chopped (about 1 cup)

1 large onion, coarsely chopped (about 1 cup)

1 pkg. (14 ounces) Pepperidge Farm® Herb Seasoned Stuffing

16 oz Jimmy Dean's HOT sausage

Bell's Seasoning

Directions

1. Heat the broth, celery and onion in a 3-quart saucepan over medium-high heat to a boil.  Reduce the heat to low.  Cover and cook for 5 minutes or until the vegetables are tender, stirring often.  Remove the saucepan from the heat.  Add the stuffing and mix lightly.

2. In separate pan, brown the hot sausage and drain.  Add to the stuffing mixture and mix.  Add Bell's seasoning to taste.

3. Spoon the stuffing mixture into a greased 3-quart shallow baking dish.  Cover the baking dish.

4. Bake at 350°F. for 30 minutes or until the stuffing mixture is hot.

APPLE OF HER EYE PIE

source: The New Basics Cookbook

Ingredients

Pastry

3 cups flour

1⁄4 cup sugar

1 teaspoon dried mustard

1 pinch salt

8 tablespoons unsalted butter

1⁄3 cup shortening, chilled

3⁄4 cup sharp cheddar cheese, finely grated

6 -8 tablespoons ice water

Filling

8 tart apples

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

1⁄2 cup sugar

2 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons cornstarch

3⁄4 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon grated lemon, zest of

1 teaspoon vanilla

Topping

1 teaspoon sugar

1 pinch cinnamon

Directions

1. For pastry: Combine flour, sugar, mustard and salt.  Cut in butter and shortening with a pastry blender.  Stir in cheese.  Sprinkle in water, 2 tablespoons at a time, tossing with a fork until dough can be gathered in a ball.  Knead, divide into slightly unequal halves, and chill 45 minutes.

2.  For filling: Cut apples into chunks.  Toss with butter and remaining ingredients.

3.  Roll out smaller portion of dough and fit into a 9-inch pie pan.  Fill with apples.  Roll out remaining dough and fit on top.  Sprinkle with topping, cut slits in top.

4.Bake at 350°F degrees for 1 1/4 hours.

UTTERLY DEADLY SOUTHERN PECAN PIE

source: here

Ingredients

1 cup sugar

1 1⁄2 cups corn syrup (I use 1/2 dark and 1/2 light)

4 eggs

1⁄4 cup butter

1 1⁄2 teaspoons vanilla

1 1⁄2 cups pecans, coarsely broken

1 unbaked deep dish pie shell

Directions

1.  In saucepan boil sugar and corn syrup together for 2 to 3 minutes; set aside to cool slightly.

2.  In large bowl beat eggs lightly and very slowly pour the syrup mixture into the eggs, stirring constantly.

3. Stir in butter, vanilla, and pecans and pour into crust.

4. Bake in a 350°F oven for about 45 to 60 minutes or until set.

Day 18 - My waiting season - Part 2

Another season of my life where I had the agonizing experience of waiting was when I was waiting to move home from North Carolina.  I had been living there for almost two years while my step-daughter was finishing high school, and we had plans to move to Maine once she graduated.  I was excited to move back to my home town and have my family grow up on the same streets that I did.  I missed my family and my friends and I was so ready to be close to them again.  It was so difficult to wait for the end of June to come.  It was all I thought about and it pretty much consumed me.  I was so focused on moving home that I never stopped to think about all I would be leaving behind.  There was a family that I nannied for while I was living there, and we had a play date one of the last few weeks I was in North Carolina.  I literally was five minutes away from leaving when I realized this would be the last time I would see them for a long time.  I couldn't believe I had been so focused on what was ahead of me, that I didn't stop to appreciate what was right in front of me.  I drove away with tears in my eyes as I left behind a family that had become like part of my own.

This experience taught me that while it is not wrong to dream or hope for the future, it shouldn't take over your life and overshadow where you are right now.  There is always something to be thankful for and appreciate.  Waiting for that sweet baby to arrive?  Enjoy these last few days with your husband as a family of two - you will never have those days again.  And while your child will bring you so much joy, it will change your life and nothing will ever be as simple as it once was.  Just think about the good things in your present life, and that will help you have a different perspective as you  trudge through the difficult waiting season.

Day 17 - My waiting Season - Part 1

I thought I would share my experiences with waiting as the second part of my "book".  My first memory of waiting was when I was in high school and all of my friends had boyfriends but I did not. I felt like something was wrong with me because of this, and I was very sad and lonely.  I wanted someone to sit with my at the lunch table, or call me every afternoon.  I did have some girlfriends that would do this often of course, but I wanted a boy to like me. Then, my junior year of high school, one of my crushes ( I'll admit, I had a few) asked me to be his girlfriend.  That lasted three weeks until he fooled around with my best friend.  Both relationships were over for me after that.

I remember feeling so discouraged and heartbroken after this.  I felt like my worth and my value was attached to if I had a boyfriend or not.  In youth group, the girls were given a poem and I don't remember the poem itself, but I remember that it was written as if from God's point of view and it said that He wanted to be our first love.  If we developed a relationship with Him first, the rest would all fall into place, and we would put other relationships in their proper place in our heart.  I tried to do this, but I think at that time I was still in the "I will do this, if you will do this" bargaining phase with God, and that of course is not how a relationship should go.

After high school came college - more crushes but no relationships.  I began to wonder if it would ever happen for me.  I started to really seek God out - and not my parent's God or my church's God, but who God was for me.  As I learned about Him in college, He became real to me and I started to develop a deeper relationship with Him.

However, it would take five years after college for me to really develop a relationship with God and I also found my husband during this time.  It was a hard and dark time, and I won't get into all the details here and now.  I learned that God needed to be first in my life and I learned that my worth and my value had nothing to do with if a boy liked me or if I was pretty or smart or funny.  My identity was found in Christ, He had redeemed me with the blood of his precious son, and I was already as valuable as I would ever be, because I was His daughter.  Once that became enough for me, I had some tough decisions to make in my life, and at the end of the tunnel - my husband and a daughter of my own.

Looking back, I wish I had not cared so much about if I had a boyfriend or not, and I really wish I didn't view my importance through the lens of a relationship with another person here on earth.  I wish that I had spent more time in his word and in prayer.  I am thankful that God fulfilled the desires of my heart, and I am thankful that He used my waiting season to bring me closer to Him, but it was a long and painful road.

Day 16 - my thoughts on super mom

The following is a caption from one of my recent Instagram posts.

Being a mom is hard. There is so much pressure on all sides to have it all together and always say or do the right thing. Somewhere along the way we started thinking that to be a good mom you needed to always be the one making Pinterest-worthy treats for every class party, the house needed to always be clean, and if your kid had a grocery store meltdown you automatically failed. Well I don't think any of these things make you a good or bad mom. The standard that I am going to follow is this: do I send my girls out each day reminding them that they are daughters of the King? Do I remind them that their worth is not based on how many birthday parties they are invited to (or not invited to!) but on the fact that Jesus died for them? Their identity is only found in Jesus Christ, not their clothes, report card, or whether they have been to Disney or not. I need to be telling them this every day because the world is cruel and it can bring you down if you don't remember Who you're holding on to. And then the last part? I need to be living this for myself as well. I am redeemed, chosen, worthy. If I believe anything other than that, then I am not setting a good example for my girls and I will miss out on the joy that is mine through Christ.

Day 15 - Ways that I can de-stress over the holidays

After writing my last post, I began thinking about ways that I could de-stress over this holiday season.  I think an important part is to avoid getting stressed in the first place.  For me, this means lists and lists and lists.  I write everything down, and this frees up my brain.  I also try to get as much stuff done early, so I have less to do later.  For example, I have like four more Christmas presents to buy, and I will be done.  Wrapping Christmas presents is another thing that can be done early, because it can take up a lot of time, so it is best to get it out of the way.  I try to be really intentional about the holiday season and keep my mind focused on what Christmas is really about for me.  I plan advent activities for each day in December for my girls and I (and sometimes Forrest) to do.  I try to make them special, but a lot of them we continue to do year after year.  I also am really excited to join in on Naptime Diaries Advent devotional.  I find that being intentional with my time, and keeping my mind focused on the reason for the season helps with dealing with all the distractions and to-do's that come with this time of year.  When I do start to feel stressed, I usually write down all the things that are bothering me.  Often, by getting it all out on paper I feel like I can tackle things more easily, and that sometimes when I look at them I realize they aren't the big deal that I have made them in my head.  I look forward to Christmas every year, and I enjoy the time with family and friends.  I want to make sure that I don't let stress keep me from enjoying it.

Day 14 - My thoughts on the happiness project after two weeks

Well, seeing as how I am writing this a day late, my thoughts are that it isn't easy to write every day with my schedule.  Weekends are especially tough, because that is when we try to cram everything in.  I do want to finish out the month, but I am sure I will not be blogging daily (maybe not even weekly) after November is over.  I have written my two encouraging notes as well, but have no clue whom to send the last two cards to.  I also think that mindfulness or gratitude would have been good topics to choose this month, because I find that as I am going into the holiday season, I am already thinking about all the things that have to be done and what time I have to do it in, and that makes me feel a little crazy.  Perhaps I will just use writing as my outlet to release the stress when it starts to develop.

Day 13- How God Uses Waiting - Part 4

In addition to using waiting to grow us in our relationship with Christ and to develop our character, God also uses waiting to give us the experiences to be able to help others that are going through the same thing.  As we go through our season of waiting we can come alongside others that are in similar situations and share each others burdens.  Sometimes going through a hard season doesn't feel as hard with the community of loving friends to help us through.  Even after we have come out the other side of our waiting season, we can still be an encouragement to others that are where we once were.  God designed us to be in community with each other and going through a similar experience as someone else helps us to develop a relationship built on common ground.  Sometimes when we go through something really difficult, and then turn around and helps someone else that is going through their own difficulty, it helps to give our difficult journey some meaning.  This can be reassuring to us, that it wasn't all for nothing.  God never wastes our pain.

Day 12- How God Uses Waiting - part 3

God uses the difficulty of waiting to teach us to to lean into Christ and experience intimacy with Him, as well as learn that we can depend on Him.  God also uses waiting to shape our character.  While we wait, we change.  We can allow waiting to make us grow bitter and angry, or we can change for the better.  We can continue to grow in our relationship with Christ and continue to trust in His plan.  Waiting is certainly a test of faith, and James says that the testing of our faith produces steadfastness which, when it has its full effect, will make us perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  (James 1: 3&4)  God uses waiting to refine us.  Job 23:10 says "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold." As we go through the difficulty of not knowing if and when we will ever get to the other side of waiting, we can develop strength of character and perseverance.

Day 11 - Eleven books on my list right now.

I am an avid reader.  I love going to the library and coming home with an armload of books.  I like all kinds of books and I often read my favorite ones again and again.  I was able to read a few books this summer, but most of the time I read in the cold winter months when there is no place I would rather be then under the covers with a great book.  I made a list of eleven books that I would love to read, but haven't yet.

I will start with the book that isn't one that you read, but I want it all the same.  It is:
1)  The Harry Potter Coloring Book

I have been totally wanting one of these adult coloring books since I first saw some in AC Moore this summer, and what better one, than a Harry Potter version?!?

2) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: Illustrated Edition
 
Speaking of Harry Potter, I would also love to own this book!  I have all the Harry Potter books, and have probably read them at least 12 times, but I would love to have this illustrated version!

3) Hands Free Life: Nine Habits for Overcoming Distraction, Living Better, and Loving More

I have heard a lot of great things about this book, and it is definitely on my list!  Sometimes I feel like I just move from one thing to the next, and don't really feel like I am "living" just "doing".  I think I would really benefit from reading this book.

4) Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World

Along the same lines is Simply Tuesday - finding that life happens in the small moments.

5) Restless: Because You Were Made for More


I am really interested in reading this book! I definitely can relate to the idea that I am missing something, and would love to read Jennie Allen's thoughts on how our gifts, passions, relationships, and sufferings all weave together to be an intentional part of God's plan for our lives.

6) The Finishing School: How one book nerd began living what she learned


Another book I have been wanting to read is this.  I have been following Valerie Woerner on instagram as ValMariePaper for a while now, and I absolutely love her prayer journals!  I really want to get this book soon and read what she has to share with us!

7) Longing for Paris: One Woman's Search for Joy, Beauty, and Adventure-Right Where She Is


I think this book will be really good, and I would like to read it.  At first glance, it makes me think of Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love or Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project.

8) Letting Go of Perfect: Women, Expectations, and Authenticity


This book made the list because I think that as a perfectionist, I really struggle with expectations - those put on me by others and those put on me by myself.

9) Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It's Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature


I had never heard of this book until a few days ago when I heard it mentioned on a periscope.  It sounds like it might be really good, and so its on the list.

10) Taming the To-Do List: How to Choose Your Best Work Every Day



I am starting to notice a theme with my book choices, and it sounds like I think I am a bit too busy!

11) Better Than Before: A Day-by-Day Journal



The last book on my list is actually a journal, but I loved the book by the same name, and I think this would be something I would enjoy as well.

Day 10 - a Wilson family tradition::Operation Christmas Child

I almost forgot to post today, but thankfully I remembered before I fell asleep!  I will just do a quick post, and then it's bedtime for me.  I wanted to share a holiday tradition that we started doing about three years ago.  We fill a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child which is sponsored by Samaritan's Purse.  For those of you who don't know, it is an organization that does a lot of work all over the world, and one part of their program is Operation Christmas Child.  They give shoe boxes that are filled with toys, toiletries, and other special items and then give them out to kids all over the world.  You grab a box, choose if you want to fill it for a boy or a girl, and then decide what age of the child your box will be geared towards.  Then you fill it with special items that some child thousands of miles away will open up and be so thrilled to receive.  My girls have fun picking out things that another girl would love, and we usually choose to fill the box for the 10-14 year olds, because the organization usually gets fewer of those.

Some things that we include in our shoe box are: hair accessories, things like stickers, bookmarks, markers, hygiene items like toothbrushes and bar soap, and then we choose a few toys like puzzles or a yo-yo.  We also choose a larger item that is the focus of the box, usually a doll.  We also include a note for the child who receives our box, to tell them that Jesus loves them and so do we.  After we fit everything in, we drop off the items to the collection center and it gets sent to some special girl.  When you choose to purchase the shipping label online, you will receive a notification by email of what country your box ended up going to.

We really enjoy doing this together as a family, and it is a great activity for my girls to participate in.  I remind them just how lucky they are - that we all are - to have as many things as we have.  We take so many things for granted and our biggest problem after Christmas is finding room for all the toys, books, and clothes. This box will likely be the most special thing that the child receives all year.   Imagine if everything special that you owned could fit in a shoe box?

Day 9 - Winter Bucket List

I always make a Family Bucket List for every season.  I try to come up with some fun activities to do as a family, as well as some fun things to do in the kitchen.  We don't always get them all crossed off, but it is fun to have a list to work on.  I just finished our Winter Bucket List and wanted to share them:

1 - Drink hot cocoa with lots of marshmallows.

2 - Make some family resolutions for 2016.

3 - Make snow cream sundaes.

4 - Watch winter movies in our pjs.

5 - Make a cozy stew for dinner.

6 -  Have a cookie baking party.

7 - Go see the Ice Castle

8 - Make valentine's for our friends.

9 - Go see a movie as a family.

10 - Make a special valentine's day breakfast.

Day 8 - A tool to help with my happiness project

As promised, I wanted to talk about the tool that I plan on using to help me keep my happiness project on track.  Gretchen Rubin used a chart that she tracked her resolutions with, and this tool is similar.  It is one that I have mentioned before, as I have been using since January to help with goal setting and tracking.  It is Lara Casey's powersheets, and I LOVE them.  I pre-ordered her new one year workbook, and I can't wait to use them again next year!  If you aren't familiar, they are worksheets that are designed for goal setting and are broken down into monthly, weekly, and daily sections.  I plan on organizing my resolutions into the appropriate sections and then using the worksheets as a checklist.  For example, in the month of November, I have "write a blog post" in the daily checklist section and "send an encouraging note to someone" in the weekly section.  I also tape these worksheets to my wall by my bed so that I see them often and can be thinking about my resolutions every time I do so.  Personally, I think you should check them out, happiness project or not, because they are a useful tool for anyone who wants to keep on track with goals, projects, and baby steps towards their big-picture goals and dreams.  Love me some powersheets!

Day 7 - thoughts on my happiness project after one week.

So it has been seven days since I started my HP and it has been good so far.  I am glad that I have managed to blog every day ( well, it has only been a week) and while I wouldn't say that my happiness has increased, I do feel a sense of satisfaction for keeping up with what I said I would do.  I think that as I continue to write throughout the month, it will become easier for me as right now, the words kind of stick in my brain and don't come out the way that I am thinking.  (That last sentence is a perfect example.)  I will be glad when I finish my "book" although as I write it, I realize what a lofty goal it was, and a bigger undertaking than I expected.  I also am in the camp of done is better than perfect when it comes to blogging, but I know that isn't the way you should write a book if you are taking it seriously.  And while I do take the subject matter seriously, I have no dreams of being published, so I think it works for me.  Tomorrow I am planning on posting about the tool that I think will help me keep on task with my happiness project.

Day 6 - How God Uses Waiting - Part 2

Another way that God uses waiting is to teach us to become dependent on Him.  This is similar to intimacy, but it goes a step further, to not just know Him deeply, but to trust Him even more so.  It is a place where we let go of what we are holding on to, and instead lean into Him.  God wants us to be fully dependent on him, because that is when He is most glorified.  It is His accomplishments, His work, His efforts that cause us to reach our goals.  We can then see clearly how trusting in the Lord is the safest place for our dreams because He alone can make them come true.  Part of being dependent on God is trusting His plan for the outcome, and believing that God will give us what is best for us.  Another part is trusting that the time we are waiting is also for our good - it is a process by which we learn what we are made of, which is the third part of how God uses waiting.

Day 5 - Why I keep a gratitude journal

November is the month of gratitude.  When thanksgiving rolls around, we really start to focus on things that we are grateful for.  I have found that gratitude is something we should practice daily.  When you are having a bad day, or you feel like nothing is going the way that it should, it can be easy to focus on your problems.  When you choose to practice gratitude, even for the little things, it can really start to change your perspective.  Choosing to focus on the things you are thankful for, the things that are blessings in your life, can give you an attitude shift and can change your day around.  We are also called to give thanks in everything. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says " rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. "  I have been keeping a gratitude journal for about four years now.  I was originally inspired by Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, and I have found that as I have listed out the blessings in my life, both big and small, it has really helped me look for contentment during difficult times.  It keeps my eyes open for the good things in my life, and gives me an expectant attitude towards feeling grateful.  I think that keeping a list of things you are thankful for is a great thing to practice, and I would definitely recommend it.  Why not start now, during the month of November?  Its a great time to begin!

Day 4 - Real Life :: Having a Band-aid Party or Bribing Your Kids to Get a Shot

Today my kids are getting their flu shots at school.  They are not crazy about shots and they are not happy that I am making them get them done at school.  I tried to explain to them that the point of the flu shot is to help prevent them from getting the flu.  I told them about how terrible it is, and that they would be really sick for quite a few days.  I pointed out that the quick pinch of a shot is a lot less painful than days of body aches, chills, and nausea.  They still didn't want the shot.  So I gave up on the practical wisdom of the benefits of the flu-shot, and instead told them that we are having a band-aid party when they get home.

I told them that I am going to go to Walgreens today and get myself a flu shot, and then I am going to stock up on a bunch of boxes of band-aids.  When everyone gets home, we are going to make popcorn, plaster ourselves with a bunch of band-aids all over,pop some popcorn, and watch a movie.  They were THRILLED when I told them this idea.  Charlotte told me she couldn't wait to get her shot so that she could come home and have a band-aid party with me.  Rory, the one that was the most defiant about getting the shot, told me that she was excited to have the band-aid party too.  I said " well, no, you can't have the party with us, because you already told me you aren't getting a flu shot".  "Well maybe I will" she mumbled.  Success.

Day 3 - How God Uses Waiting - Part 1

How God Uses Waiting - Part 1

"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Psalm 27:14

God has a plan for every part of your life, and He is in control of the big and the small.  When things aren't going according to our plan, to our timetable, it can be easy to lose sight of the big picture.  It puts us at a crossroads where we can choose to walk away from truth and try to accomplish things on our own strength, or we can choose to trust.  

Abraham was told that he would be a father of nations, but he was unsure how this could be because Sarah was barren.  So Sarah and Abraham devised a plan that Abraham would father a child through one of Sarah's servants, Hagar.  However, this resulted in enmity between Sarah and Hagar, and Hagar and her child lost and dying in a desert.  This was not the plan that God had in mind, and this was not the child that God was going to establish His covenant with.  If Abraham and Sarah had not taken matters into their own hands, and instead waited upon the Lord, things would have turned out a lot differently.

Waiting has purpose.  If we choose to trust Him, we will experience so much joy, even in the hard waiting season.  We will experience intimacy with Christ that can only be experienced through true surrender.  This means that we let go of what we are waiting for, longing for, and instead place it in His capable hands.  By saying to God " I choose you over my hopes and dreams" we enter into a place of closeness and even freedom.  We don't have to control the outcome.  We don't have to make sure all the pieces fit or the stars align.  All we have to do is trust that the Creator of the universe has a plan for our life, and walk the road that He has shown us.  And as we walk, He walks with us.  We don't have to go through our waiting season alone.  He is right there beside us.  We can experience the joy of knowing Christ intimately and see how He blesses us even when life is so hard.  He does want to bless us.  He wants us to know the joy that comes through trusting in Him alone, and He wants us to experience the freedom that comes from surrender and intimacy with Him.  Sometimes the answer to our prayer doesn't look like what we had hoped for or expected it, but it is so much better when it is from the Lord and not our own striving.

"And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail." Isaiah 58:11

Day 2 - Introduction to The Waiting Season

Over the next thirty days, I am going to blog every day - a little bit of everything, but one of the things that I really want to do is finish my book.  I am not sure how great it will come out, but I will feel a lot better having finished it.  

-the waiting season-

::encouragement and hope for when time seems to stand still::

Introduction.


"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..." Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
There is a time for every matter under heaven, but what about when it feels like that time will never come?  When it feels like the season we are in will last forever and we are stuck in a holding pattern, unsure of the next move?  Is there even anywhere to go from here?  What do we do when all we can do is wait?

Waiting is hard.  It oftentimes feels so passive, and it is beyond our control.  It feels like there is nothing for us to do but wait for the clock to turn, the letter to come, the phone to ring, the day to finally arrive.  In the meantime, we ask ourselves what is the purpose in this?  What is the point of waiting?   Why can't I have that house/car/baby that I have been dreaming of for so long?  Why is God allowing me to unemployed for this amount of time?  Why do I have to just sit and watch and wait, while others seem to "have it all"?

People (myself included) often think that when they get that house, have that baby, start the new job, own their own successful business - THAT is when their lives will begin.  However, it is during the waiting - the in-between - where life happens.  This is where growth takes place and this is what God uses to make us who we are meant to be.  The waiting season looks different for everyone, and I hope this book helps us to explore how God uses waiting to grow us in our relationship with Him and how it helps us become more like Christ.

I wrote this book for me as much as I did for you.  The idea was born in a hard season of waiting in my personal life.  As I write this, I am still in that place and trying to keep my eyes on Jesus rather than my circumstances.  This is no easy task, but perhaps if we dig a little deeper, we can find that God has great purpose for our waiting seasons.  I want this book to be a source of encouragement and hope when you are questioning God's plan for your life.  I hope that this book is a tool to point you back to who Jesus is and what He has already done for us to remind you that He can be trusted with your life.

Day 1 - The project begins...

And so we begin my Happiness Project.  Sometimes it seems like a huge undertaking, and I question the purpose of it, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time, so I think I am going to push forward.  I will take it a month at a time and go from there.  If nothing else, I will have tried, and that is something.  So November is National Writer's Month, and one area that I have been wanting to focus on is writing.  I thought it would make me happy to finish my book and to practice my writing skills by blogging.  I also think it would make me happy to make others happy, so I thought I would write some notes of encouragement.  Lastly, I want to ignore the numbers - page views, followers, words on the page.  I just want to have fun with it and see where it goes!


NOVEMBER - [ tell your story ] writing
resolutions:
1- practice writing (blog every day in the month of November)
2- work on my book
3- send weekly notes of encouragement
4- ignore the numbers

Okay, so far so good! Only 29 more days to go!

my focus areas

I finally decided on the areas I wanted to focus on and ended up coming up with all eleven. I figured if I was going to do this, I would do it right.  Deciding what order to do them was the hardest part because they all seemed important, and something I should start working on right now.  In the end, I decided some with a purpose behind it, and some just arbitrarily.  Here are my eleven areas:

NOVEMBER: Tell your story - Writing

DECEMBER: Spread Joy - Parenthood

JANUARY: Study the Word - Spiritual Growth

FEBRUARY:  The greatest of these is love - Marriage

MARCH:  Be kind - Humanity

APRIL: Outside the Comfort zone - Challenging Myself

MAY: Boost Energy - Vitality

JUNE: Pay attention - Mindfulness

JULY: You learn something new every day - Intellectual Growth

AUGUST:  Keep a Contented Heart - Gratitude

SEPTEMBER: Cultivate Relationships - Friendship

OCTOBER: Bootcamp Perfect - Happiness


 Looking at all the areas, and thinking about doing it for a whole year seems really daunting of a task, and maybe I am crazy to think about doing this, but I really feel like I have to at least try.  Not trying at all would be worse for me than attempting it and realizing I won't be able to see it through.

I still have to finish coming up with my resolutions and make up my charts, and then I will be ready to begin!

my personal commandments

In preparation for starting my Happiness Project, I came up with my own Personal Commandments.  Gretchen came up with her own when she pulled out the overarching principles of her resolutions.  I borrowed some of hers but mostly added my own
.
My Personal Commandments
1. Be Meghan.
2. Give grace.
3. Identify the problem.
4. Stop caring about what other people think.
5. Fail small, not big.
6. React accordingly to the size of the problem.
7. Let it go.
8. Savor your season.
9. Act the way I want to feel.
10. Always start with a list.
11. God is always bigger.
12. Remember Whose you are.

Now that I had come up with these, it was time to nail down the areas that I wanted to focus on.  I had already come up with nine, but were there any more?  And what resolutions did I want to come up with to help me in these areas?

"It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery and as much happiness as possible." - Samuel Johnson

I needed to break down these larger focus areas into smaller, more manageable resolutions if I was ever going to succeed at my project.

a new project

Goodness I love projects.  I love when a new idea comes, I love thinking about how to execute it, and I love starting them.  I don't always finish them however.  I realized this about myself and I also learned a few other things as well.  I just got done reading Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin and I learned a lot.  I highly suggest you read it for two reasons.  1- It's good.  2- I am going to mention some of her "lingo" here and probably won't spell it all out.  So it will be helpful if you want to follow along.

So I learned that I am an Upholder, and that I follow rules are are expected of me (such as the speed limit) as well as rules that I place on myself (such as exercising 5x a week).  It is this realization that helped me start getting up earlier.  I have always wanted to, but have always told myself that I was not a morning person so I just couldn't get out of bed.  After reading this book however, I decided that I could get up earlier if that is what I really wanted to do, so I did.  After all, I set the expectation on myself, and now I carry it out.

Another thing I learned is what I mentioned before.  I am not a Finisher.  I always suspected this to be the case, but it helped to name it, you know?  That means that I don't always finish every book I start (such as the five on my nightstand that I mentioned a few posts back).  I have started writing a book and didn't get past the introduction.  I began my cake business but then I abandoned it.  I have had very good reasons for all of the above, but I also think it is just in my nature that I don't always finish what I start.  I am not sure if I like this quality about myself, but I have also learned that in order to succeed, I need to work within my nature, not against it.

Okay back to the project.  Gretchen Rubin also wrote a book called The Happiness Project, and to me this was GOLD.  I loved everything about it.  I loved the idea of focusing on areas in my life that I wanted to improve, and breaking them down into smaller resolutions that, when followed, could contribute to a greater sense of happiness because I am growing in areas that I want to grow.  She did hers over a course of a year - she chose eleven areas she wanted to focus on and focused on a new one each month.  January was Vitality for example, and then when she started on her February focus (marriage), she also continued along with January's as well and so on.  December was the month she tried to do all the areas at once, a "Perfect Bootcamp".  Now this was years ago, and many have hopped on the Happiness Project bandwagon and I am very late to the party.  As a matter of fact, the Happiness Toolbox that she had developed to aid others on their own projects shut down about three years ago.  As I said, I am late.  I did see that a lot of people wanted to try theirs for a month or whatever, and I wonder if anyone tried to do a whole year like she did.

Well I decided that I was going to try my own project, and I was going to attempt to do the full year.  When I wrote out my areas however, I only came up with nine, and I think I will start there.  I am worried about my inability to be a Finisher, but I am still going to try.  If nothing else, it allowed me to look at the areas that I wanted to improve in my life and develop some helpful resolutions to aid me in this quest.

I am a perfectionist and I really loved the idea of starting in January and going from there, but I am also really excited about it, and the idea of waiting two months just to start wasn't going to work for me.  After all, part of her inclination to even start the project was because she wanted to prepare for - adversity - to develop the self-discipline and the mental habits to deal with a bad thing when it happened.  "The time to start exercising, stop nagging, and organize our digital photos was when everything was going smoothly.  I didn't want to wait for a crisis to remake my life."  I totally agree.  So I am going to start this in November, and go from there.  She did a LOT of research before she started, but I am not sure that I want to spend as much time preparing.  Especially because she did a lot of the legwork for me, and I am planning on modeling mine after hers in quite a few areas.

I feel a lot of guilt about not finishing things that I start, but I have found that most of the time I experience the guilt when I have told other people about my idea and then do not complete it.  For this reason, I may not share this project with others right away, except for my husband.  Or perhaps I will share it, but with the full disclaimer that I have no idea where this will go, but that I want to try.

I am going to spend the rest of the week preparing for the project, and coming up with my resolutions and then I will go ahead and begin in November!

on time and loving well

All we have to decide 

is what to do with the time 

that is given to us.

-Gandalf

Something that I have been given a lot of lately, that I have never really felt like I had much of before, is time.  I am currently looking for work outside the home, and haven't found the right thing for me and my family yet.  So while the kids are at school, I have been able to choose what I do (for the most part).  Now of course there are all the daily/weekly chores like laundry, vacuuming, and dishes that take up part of this time, but the rest?  What have I been up to?

For one thing, I have started a new business.  Its called grace&canvas, and you can find it on facebook , instagram and my shop site.   I have been working on the social media side of  things like promoting and building followers, and I have been praying a LOT about what He wants me to do with my business, and what my vision and core values are.

Another thing that I have been choosing to do with my time is loving others.  It may sound simple, but there are so many different relationships that we have and each one needs something different.  You don't love your husband the way you love your children, and you have a different relationship with your best friend than your neighbor.  How do you do this well, when there are so many different things vying for your time and attention?

For one thing, I have started to say yes to things that I used to have to say no to.  I have more availability to help watch my friend's child, or to meet up for coffee, or to help my mom by letting her dogs out while she is at work all day.  I think of it as doing for others what I needed others to do for me when I was working.

Another area that I am working on improving in my quest to love well is acting on something rather than adding it to the to-do list.  For example, I might have said "Oh, I really need to text so and so, and see how she is doing.  Maybe meet her for coffee sometime.." and then I would forget about it for two or three days and say the same thing all over again.  Now, I just pick up that phone and send that text.  Right now.  And say "Will one day next week work for you to get coffee?? I am free any day but Wednesday."  And then it is not something that I keep putting off or forgetting about.  It is done.

I have been trying to be more intentional about how I view my relationships.  I am trying to look for ways to encourage others, or to seek them out more than I did before.  For example, I might make some apple crisp to bring over to my neighbors, rather than just saying hi to them when we cross paths.  If I see my phone sitting on the desk in between trips to the laundry room,  I might pick it up and send an "I love you" text to my husband before I dive into folding the next basket.  Just these small but intentional gestures not only help others to feel loved, but also help me to keep my heart and mind focused on how to love well.

Whether you work outside the home or stay home, we can all learn to love others well.  Maybe you can't offer to watch your friend's child while she has an appointment to get her wisdom teeth out, because you have to work that day, but you can send her a text on your lunch break to say that you are thinking of her and hope that she isn't in too much pain as she recovers.  Maybe you can't meet up for coffee with your friends as much as you would like, because you are home with three kids under three.  Maybe you write her a card once the kids have gone to sleep to tell her how much you appreciate her friendship, and pop it in the mail.  I think hand-written notes are a great way to love others well - especially these days.

I am not sure what things will look like for me a month, two months, six months from now as far as the amount of free time I have, but I am trying to make the most of THIS time and THIS season to learn how I can love others well, and how I can encourage others that may not be in a great season themselves.

growth.

I have been thinking a lot about myself and how I am wired.  I am a do-er.  If I have an idea for something, I will go out and do it, perhaps even before I have thought it all through.  It will then sit there, unfinished, because I am also someone who has a hard time finishing things.  Not everything mind you.  I finish books.  Well ignore the four books that have been started and then discarded on my nightstand.  I will get to those eventually.  Okay, maybe it is a lot of things.  Why do I start things and then cannot finish them?  Sometimes I lose the fire that I had in the beginning.  Sometimes I lose sight of my vision, and can no longer see the end result, so I just quit.  Sometimes ( and most often with my recent undertakings) I over-think them, and decided that my idea isn't good enough, that no one would read it, and I just choose not to work hard at something that won't go anywhere.  That was this blog for so long.  I don't have a "voice".  I don't have a "brand".  I am not good at coming up with material that will "resonate with my readers".  I just need to write for me.  I have been so focused on wanting to let God use me to speak to others, that I haven't been letting Him speak to ME.  I haven't been quiet and I haven't been listening, because I have been doing all the talking - "What do I say to them Lord?"  And He has been like SHHHH already!

Another area where I am a do-er is I don't like to wait.  For example, if they are doing construction on my regular commute, I would much rather take the longer way home than sit with traffic for ten minutes.  I will still get home at the same time, but I would rather spend that extra ten minutes driving than sitting.  I know I can't be the only one that does that.  So when I think about areas in my life that I want to change, I usually just try and change them, but often forget to pray, or only pray halfheartedly because I am so busy trying to make the change, its almost like prayer is a distraction.  THIS is something that I do not want to let continue.

I want to have a more active prayer life.  Usually I need lists and to-dos.  I need to have a "plan" for everything and what it should look like.  I told myself that I would set the timer on my phone and pray for fifteen minutes every day.  I wanted to make intentional time to pray, and I wanted to eliminate all distractions by setting aside this time. However, I haven't made time like this for over two weeks. I have prayed of course, but not the way that I pictured.  I think sometimes I need to throw out the picture of what "ideal" looks like, and embrace the fact that God hears me if I am in the shower, or in my car, just as easily as if I am having a cup of coffee in the morning while the house is silent.  I need to stop setting so many expectations for myself, and instead I just need let God do some work in my heart.

Over the past few weeks, I have been really asking God to help me grow.  I want to continue to grow deeper in my walk with Him.  I want more intimacy with Christ.  I want to have transparency in my relationships, to enrich them all the more.  I want direction in my passions and to use them to serve His kingdom.  My prayer has been " Lord, I want to bring glory to you and build your kingdom.  I want to embrace my identity as your daughter and love others and serve them well.  I want to know you on a deeper level than ever before."

And I fully believe that when we ask God to help us grow and to make us more like Him, He is all over that.  He meets us where we are, and He brings us into Himself.  I just need to stop letting myself get in the way.  I want a more active prayer life, and I want to stop trying to fit what that looks like into a box of my own making.  I guarantee His box is better.   And I want to read more - I want to finish these four books.  I want to study His word more.  I want to model the relationships that I hope to have with others.  Show love, serve more, stop expecting anything in return.  Jesus' life is the perfect example of this and I want to be more like Him.  I want to trust Him with my life more and more each day.  The more that I trust Him, the more intimate our relationship will be.  And I need to give all these things to God and ask Him to help me do them, because if I try and do it on my own strength they will fizzle out just like the other things that I try and start.

I am not a blogger.

I have never been able to be a blogger.  I wanted to be.  I go through seasons that I blog more than others, but it has never been something that comes naturally to me.  I love to write, and when I was in high school, my journal was my best friend.  But when it comes to regularly sitting at the computer, putting my words on a screen and publishing them for all to see, I just can't commit.  I think that it is for a variety of reasons, one of which is that I can't do something just because everyone else is.  It might intrigue me, it might make me dive in and try it, but if it isn't something meaningful to me on a personal level, I just can't make it a regular habit.

So I gave it up.  I took it off my list of goals on my powersheets.  I stopped feeling that sense of guilt when I wasn't doing what everyone else was.  I didn't try to figure out if I was a lifestyle blogger, or a food blogger, because I am none of those things and just don't care about what my market should be.  I don't have a market.  I am not trying to change your mind, or change the world, I just want to work on me.

So for now, I want to use this space as a place to pour out what I am thinking about or what God is doing in my life, and it doesn't need to be life-changing and there won't be any weekly newsletters.  I don't expect anyone to read it, and I can't promise how often I will post.  I have tried so. many. times.  I think that the reason I fail is because I did it because I thought I should.  Now I am doing it because I want to.  When I want.  How I want.  And sometimes I won't have anything good to say.  That's okay, because I don't expect followers.  I just want to do this for me.

I got a book from the library today called Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin.  It is about habits and how creating them/following them isn't the same for everyone.  It is making me think about myself, and that is where the idea for this post came about.  I want to really dive in to what makes me me, and go ahead and celebrate who I am, rather than concentrating on how I am different or not enough than someone else.  Comparison can be such a trap, and that is something I have been thinking about a lot lately.  I don't want to feel like I don't measure up to someone else, and I also want to concentrate on what makes me unique and not try to copy someone else.  I want to see others as an inspiration, and ask myself what draws me in when I see a post on instagram that I really love, but I don't want to copy it, and I don't want to let it make me feel bad about myself.  I want to use every opportunity to learn something new about myself, and work on being the best version of myself, rather than trying to fit in to the mold of someone else.  So here goes...