It has been a little while since I posted last, and that is mostly because my days have been filled to the brim with so many things that I had to let it slide. There has been a lot on my plate lately, and I have been struggling with shouldering it all - but more on that later.
March's Happiness Project focuses on humanity and compassion. Our family made a compassion list of things that we could do to show compassion and love to others, and decided to focus on one each week. I had also decided to work on criticizing others and to give grace. I wanted to work on becoming less defensive and to hold my tongue rather than speak out if I was upset. It was hard to incorporate these things into the project though, because I had a hard time thinking back through the course of each day and remembering how well I did or didn't do. I do better with specific, measurable action items, rather than something that I have to gauge using an opinion. The Compassion List has been good though, and while we won't get it finished this month, I would like to continue to work on it, and maybe even add to it as time goes on.
So on to the Whole30. We finished our thirty days, and are in the last week of the reintroduction period. It has been so hard. So hard. The cooking and prep work, the saying no to so many things, the grocery bill, everything. I am so ready for it be over. However, I am proud of myself for doing it, and I feel like it made me a better person for it. The discipline required is huge, and I learned I am capable of more than I thought. I am also going to walk away from it with a renewed sense of healthy food choices. I want to eat better, live better, and also give myself the freedom to have a treat or "cheat" and enjoy it for what it is without feeling guilty. I want to avoid sugar when possible, because it is in so many things, but I also don't want to spend an extra hour in the grocery store just to read every label. I didn't lose a lot of weight, but I feel like I have a better handle on my diet now. I learned that I love to bake and I miss it, so more on that to come I think.
Lastly, I wanted to share about where I am at a quarter of the way through the year. I am tired. I feel like I always start each year with a fresh burst of energy and checklists for miles, and then somewhere along the way, I start to lose focus. This year, it is not so much that I am losing focus, but changing focus. I have been trying to fit too much in and I am not any better for it. I need more margin and rest. I need to give myself
permission to rest. I need to literally schedule it, because that is how I work best. I am a list maker, a planner, a check list person, a note keeper. That is who I am, and how I best function. It is not how I keep track or organize my time that I am struggling with, it is putting the pressure on myself to fit more in. Reading two books a month. Working three jobs. Saying yes when I should say no. Feeling guilty when I want to rest instead of working on my to-do list. I want that to stop now. I want to start giving myself more freedom and white space in each day. I want to bake more, blog more, rest more, read more (but one book at a time!) I want to say yes to the best things only. I even want to change how I finish the rest of my happiness project. I am not abandoning it, but instead of several tasks, I want to just pick one. What is the most important thing to work on? What will bring the most joy to me? That is what I will do from here on out. Less is more I think.
I am planning on spending a few hours this afternoon working on my Powersheets three-month refresh and really thinking about what changes I want to make at this point to reflect the thoughts that I have been having. So that is where I am at, and hopefully I can make more time to blog a big more on how I plan to go from here. Until then...
