Pages

21 January 2015

dreams on fire and standing still




Hi, I’m Meghan.   I love sunshine, fresh notebooks, coffee, and Jesus.  I could think of a list a mile wide of the things that I love and the things that I don’t, places I've been, and places I want to go, things I am passionate about and things that I just enjoy watching others be passionate about.  But is this list really who I am?  Am I the sum total of all of the above?  Every time I try to define who I am, I feel like something is missing.  I feel like the greatest part of me just hasn't been discovered yet.  Well, the greatest part, hands down, is that I am a daughter of the King and that wins every time.  But I still feel like there is so much that I am capable of doing.

There are women that God has brought into my life, both in person and through social media, who have really inspired and encouraged me.  I love what they are doing for Jesus.  Their words are often a breath of fresh air to my soul.  It’s like God has picked them special just for me.   They share truths that I need to hear, when I need to hear it.  I am so inspired by how he is using them and I want to be willing to let him use me too.  I feel like God has instilled in me this great desire to go and do mighty things for Him, and to make a life out of pointing others to Jesus.  I just don’t know how He wants me to do it.  I just don’t see how it is all going to play out.

I just finished reading a book called Love Does by Bob Goff.  It is really an amazing book and I highly recommend it.  Bob shares a story in his book about his dream to get into law school and then says “I've always wondered if, when we want to do something that we know is right and good, God places that desire deep in our hearts because He wants it for us and it honors Him.” It was very motivating for me and I felt so ready to just jump in to whatever God has planned for me – right now!  Only I don’t know what that is.  So I asked God – am I missing something?  Do you not want to use me?  Why do I have these dreams on fire in my soul if there is no place that I can let them burn for you?  At the end of the book Bob writes, “you weren't just an incredible idea that God never got around to making.”  This really resonated with me because I guess I have been feeling like what if this is the case?  What if this fire I feel lit inside of me just smolders and goes out?  Or what if I am just looking in the wrong place?  What if I have been standing on my tip toes looking out into the future plan of my life and yelling so loudly “What is it God?! How will you use me?!” that I am missing his quiet voice telling me that it is already right here.  This place that I already am.  This job that I drag my feet to every day.  This season of waiting and monotony and routine.  Is it here that he wants to use me?  Maybe He doesn't want me to hop on a plane to help in Uganda, maybe he wants me to help my neighbors next door.  Maybe He isn't calling me to become a national women’s speaker to travel all over and share His truth, maybe He just wants me to share His truth right here –  to you.  Maybe He isn't calling me to pursue my dream of being a small business owner right now, but wants me to get in my car each day and go to the job that He has chosen for me to be in because He has plans for me here right now.  
One of the women that I already mentioned before, Ashley shared this verse today and it hit home for me: "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not."  -Deuteronomy 8:2   I thinking that maybe right now He wants me to be faithful to Him in the standing still because He can see so much more than me.  He has heaven’s view and I have tunnel vision.  

No comments:

Post a Comment