This month started out wonderful. I had completed most of my Christmas to-do's - cards were ordered, addressed, and stamped and just waiting for December to arrive to be mailed. I had finished almost all of my Christmas shopping ( and wrapping!) and I was looking forward to my advent activities with the girls. Although, a couple days ago something happened and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. There is no other way to describe it. I was off, and I didn't know how to fix it. I started feeling the season slipping away - the joy was gone, the anticipation was gone, and I started to think about all the things that weren't how they should be. So I decided to go back to my journaling from a few days into the advent season of what I wanted this season to look like.
I want it to be a season of:
anticipation - Christ's coming and how He will show up for me again this season.
freedom - from the bondage of to-do lists and being bogged down by expectations
rest - true rest for my body, heart, and soul. I want slow quiet mornings and peace from Him.
joy - I want to celebrate Him and I want to treasure this time with my children.
meaning - I want each activity, every task or event to carry with it some weight. I want to ponder them and soak them all in. Savor each moment and take it slow.
I started to think about how I could get back to this and I realized that one of the things that I was missing was spending my mornings with Jesus. I have been so physically tired, that I was sleeping through my alarm and then missing out on those quiet mornings. I didn't protect my bedtime like I should, so I was going to bed later as well, adding to the exhaustion. My mornings were rushed, prayer time was cut short, workouts became non-existent, and I was feeling the strain physically, mentally, and emotionally. I needed to get back on track.
I had the first real prayer time in days this morning, mostly because it was the first time in days that I had time to do this, while still being able to sleep in. I prayed that God would help me take the steps I needed to get back on track, and I also prayed that from now on I would submit to His plan for me this season, rather than me trying to make up a plan for Him to follow.
I want to protect my bedtime and go to bed when I should, so that I can get up early and spend time with Jesus first thing. I want to have dedicated prayer time that won't be cut short by morning tasks and getting kids dressed and on the bus. This is when I feel my best mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I want to get back into my workouts, and even if I only manage three a week, that is better than nothing. I want to make sure I am getting the water that I need in a day, and eating like I should, because this is when I physically feel my best. I also want to give myself - and others - more grace. It is a process and nothing happens overnight.
I feel clear-headed for the first time in days, and I am thankful for the Lord meeting me right where I am. I pray that He helps me do what I need to do to in order to keep moving forward. I pray that He helps me to keep my eyes on Him during this season, not the severity of the storms or the size of the waves that crash around me. I want this Christmas season to be one of anticipation, freedom, rest, joy, and meaning. I want to finish out this year well, and be ready to take on the next year with a hopeful and expectant heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment