waiting...

I definitely need this outlet today.  I get really frustrated at times just sitting here waiting for the next call to come in, the next refill request to place, the next phone note to put back to the nurse.  Sometimes it makes me feel like all my days are so monotonous and that I'm not really doing anything worthwhile - like I'm not really making a difference.  Anyone can be nice on the phone to someone and tell them what they want to hear.  I want to DO something that makes a difference.  My cakes are my own design, my own creations, no one can do it the way that I will - there will be others like me - but no one that is ME.  And this is what I LOVE to do.  This is what makes me feel important.

Not only that, but there are a million things that I want to fill my time with - cleaning the house, the latest project, plans for my birthday.  And there is only so much I can do just sitting here.  I pin, I blog, I google, I plan.  But then I want to DO.  It is frustrating that by the time I get home, everyone is exhausted, I am exhausted, dinner to serve and baths to give.  Then its everyone to bed to get up and do it all again.  Monotonous.  The weekends are so few and far between - and some of them are used up even before I get to them.  Beach to beacon this Saturday - yes I am looking forward to it, but half the day gone, gone.  I just wish I could cross more things off my list.. that perpetual to-do list that never really goes away, just changes over time.

I am trying to be patient as I work on my cake business.  I am happy with my website, with my cards, with how far I've come.  But I have a beautiful planner that is still far too empty.  I have a fantastic website with online ordering capability with no orders being placed.  Yes it is early, and yes I know it takes time, but still... sometimes this makes me discouraged.  I am okay with waiting for a cupcake shop if in the meantime I am getting plenty of orders.  This would actually make me feel even better about opening up a shop - like I already have a faithful following, and a shop can only make it better.

And still, here I sit, I need this job.  I don't want to need this job.  I want to be self-sufficient, successful cake-maker, but here I sit, waiting for the calls...

Cake! has an official website!!!

And I am super proud of it!! I am so glad it is up and running, I have been working on it for over three weeks now!! Please check it out- http://www.cakelovemaine.com/

thirty.

I am turning 30 this year.  I am not very happy about it, but I at least hope to throw myself a fabulous party :)  I am one of those people that if you want it done right, you do it yourself, and so I am planning on it.  In the past I have made a list of things I want to accomplish in the next year, and although I didn't always complete them, it was fun to have goals.  I did not make one this year, but I decided to make one for the upcoming year: 30 things to do before 31.

1.  Throw myself a birthday party!!

2.  Make blackberry jam.

3.  Read thirty books.

4.  Spend a day at the beach by myself.

5.  Finish my 2012 scrapbook.

6.  Make new business cards for my business. check them out!

7.  Take small business classes online.

8.  Enroll in a cake decorating class.

9.   Dye my tips rainbow.

10. Make a ruffle cake.  what do you think?

11.  Launch my new website for my business. (http://www.cakelovemaine.com/)

12.  Find something I'm afraid to do, and do it anyway.

13.  Write a letter to my girls for them to read when they are older.

14.  Write a business plan.

15.  Spend a weekend in Camden with my husband, sans kiddos.

16.  Get a tattoo.  what do you think?

17.  Make my own ice cream cake.

18.  Make my own vanilla extract.

19.  Decorate my kitchen backsplash, possibly with paint swatches.

20.  Take my girls to Funtown.

21.   Make a cake covered in sprinkles.

22.  Make my own marshmallows.

23.  Teach Rory how to swim.

24.  Take Bella (my dog) to get caught up on her vaccines.  (I've been a bad mommy)

25.  Clean out my freezer. (ugh)

26.  Clean my basement, get rid of things the girls have outgrown.

27.  Take the girls on the train.

28.  Save $1000.

29.  Take a week-long vacation and do NOTHING.

30.  Bring the girls to Boston for the day and go to the museum or the aquarium.

I'm meeeeelting....

This weekend I had my first major cake catastrophe.  I started with a beautiful four-tier birthday cake decorated to match the ice cream social theme.  I spent all day Saturday working on it and I was so happy with the result:

The party was down in Springvale, over an hour's drive.  We rode in a friend's car that had no AC - and of course it was a hot summer day.  Great day for an outside party - not a great day for a four-tier cake to drive an hour with no AC.  By the time we reached our destination, the cake was falling apart.  Ironically, it was the pretend melted ice cream cones that really did melt and start falling off the cake.  I knew that I had to come up with something, and no amount of re-positioning the cones was going to help.  I ended up scratching the bottom two layers, and only bringing out the top two.  No one knew the difference, and we still served the bottom two layers, so there was plenty of cake for everyone.  I was really disappointed in how it turned out, but I was thankful that we were able to come up with a plan B.  And most importantly,  the cake was for some friends of ours and they were happy with it regardless.  It was a lesson in patience and grace for me.  Those are not always easy lessons to learn, but necessary, in order to become the best person you can be.  

It made me question my ability as a cake decorator, but I know there are only so many things we have control over, and the rest we just have to leave up to God.  He knows what He is doing, and we have to trust that He causes all things to work out for good.  I have learned that I must always have AC in the summer if I am transporting a cake.  I have learned to put the cake together once we actually reach our destination if I am driving further than 30 minutes.  I have learned that sometimes things happen, and being able to see past the unpleasant circumstances to come up with a good back up plan is what makes this a great job for me.

a new beginning...

I used to blog often, or at least occasionally, and stopped a little over a year ago.  Life got crazy and I ended up just going from one day to the next with my only time of reflection being shared to others - never inward which I had been missing.  So I decided to start a new blog - a fresh start.  This time, there are no pen names, just the raw truth of what life is like for a mom of two little girls working OUTSIDE the home full-time as well as trying to start my own cake business.  Juggling family, housework, a job, and my business is not easy and sometimes I just need a place to share my thoughts.  So here they are...