April's Happiness Project

I am getting ahead of the game here this month!! So the past two months I have participated in a monthly challenge of some sort and I have enjoyed having something to cross off each day.  In February I did a challenge that focused on creativity and this month, I have been doing a Pilates challenge with The Balanced Life.  I realized that this month is almost over and I was going to miss not having a "challenge" in April.  I have also been thinking about my Happiness Project and wanting to simplify things a bit.  I decided I would turn the Happiness Project for April into a thirty day challenge of sorts.  April's theme is vitality and is focused on having more energy.  I decided to focus on a different area each day of the week such as: better self-care, finding more margin in my week, investing more time in relationships, clearing the clutter (both physical and mental), taking the time to slow down and savor the moment, and tackling nagging tasks that everyone just puts off but would feel so much better if they were done.  Although I will be doing thirty different tasks, I think it will still be a simpler version of the Happiness Project this month, because I will break down larger tasks into smaller action items that can be accomplished in ten minutes or less ( except for a few that are bigger projects)  and it has an over-arching goal of simplifying my life to have more energy and more intentional living.  That is something that has been on my heart a lot recently, so I think this is the way to go.  I found a fun free monthly printable at Fab N' Free and just filled in the spaces!

March Happiness Project // Finishing up the Whole30 and some other thoughts...

It has been a little while since I posted last, and that is mostly because my days have been filled to the brim with so many things that I had to let it slide.  There has been a lot on my plate lately, and I have been struggling with shouldering it all - but more on that later.

March's Happiness Project focuses on humanity and compassion.  Our family made a compassion list of things that we could do to show compassion and love to others, and decided to focus on one each week.  I had also decided to work on criticizing others and to give grace.  I wanted to work on becoming less defensive and to hold my tongue rather than speak out if I was upset.  It was hard to incorporate these things into the project though, because I had a hard time thinking back through the course of each day and remembering how well I did or didn't do.  I do better with specific, measurable action items, rather than something that I have to gauge using an opinion.  The Compassion List has been good though, and while we won't get it finished this month, I would like to continue to work on it, and maybe even add to it as time goes on.

So on to the Whole30.  We finished our thirty days, and are in the last week of the reintroduction period.  It has been so hard.  So hard.  The cooking and prep work, the saying no to so many things, the grocery bill, everything.  I am so ready for it be over.  However, I am proud of myself for doing it, and I feel like it made me a better person for it.  The discipline required is huge, and I learned I am capable of more than I thought.  I am also going to walk away from it with a renewed sense of healthy food choices.  I want to eat better, live better, and also give myself the freedom to have a treat or "cheat" and enjoy it for what it is without feeling guilty.  I want to avoid sugar when possible, because it is in so many things, but I also don't want to spend an extra hour in the grocery store just to read every label.  I didn't lose a lot of weight, but I feel like I have a better handle on my diet now.  I learned that I love to bake and I miss it, so more on that to come I think.

Lastly, I wanted to share about where I am at a quarter of the way through the year.  I am tired.  I feel like I always start each year with a fresh burst of energy and checklists for miles, and then somewhere along the way, I start to lose focus.  This year, it is not so much that I am losing focus, but changing focus.  I have been trying to fit too much in and I am not any better for it.  I need more margin and rest.  I need to give myself permission to rest.  I need to literally schedule it, because that is how I work best.  I am a list maker, a planner, a check list person, a note keeper.  That is who I am, and how I best function.  It is not how I keep track or organize my time that I am struggling with, it is putting the pressure on myself to fit more in.  Reading two books a month.   Working three jobs.  Saying yes when I should say no.  Feeling guilty when I want to rest instead of working on my to-do list.  I want that to stop now.  I want to start giving myself more freedom and white space in each day.  I want to bake more, blog more, rest more, read more (but one book at a time!)  I want to say yes to the best things only.  I even want to change how I finish the rest of my happiness project.  I am not abandoning it, but instead of several tasks, I want to just pick one.  What is the most important thing to work on?  What will bring the most joy to me?  That is what I will do from here on out.  Less is more I think.

I am planning on spending a few hours this afternoon working on my Powersheets three-month refresh and really thinking about what changes I want to make at this point to reflect the thoughts that I have been having.  So that is where I am at, and hopefully I can make more time to blog a big more on how I plan to go from here.  Until then...

How I'm doing halfway through the Whole30...

So today is actually Day 17, so I am just over halfway!  I noticed that my experiences have pretty much followed the timeline as far as what to expect when starting out on the Whole 30, with a few exceptions.  I am now on the home stretch and SO thankful for that! I am feeling great physically - energy is pretty good, mood is pretty good, and so far I have been able to make dinners that are good enough that I am excited for lunch the next day.

There were two days that I was ready to give up - both of them occurred when dinner didn't go as planned ( the first time - it was this flank steak that I marinated in an asian-style marinade.  Not good.  Maybe I should have used chicken?)  Anyway, after trying so hard not to snack after lunch, it was really disappointing that my only meal before breakfast the next day was gross, and I hardly wanted to eat it.  I was super bummed and I was about three minutes from throwing in the towel and grabbing McDonalds.  But I didn't and I moved on.  The next time was actually last night, but it wasn't as tempting to give up then, just briefly considered it, before deciding it was ridiculous.  This was because I opened my package of wings and it had gone bad! So that meant a trip to the grocery store at 5pm, when I would much rather have been sitting down to eat.  I was hungry!  I would say that if you are planning on starting the Whole30, you should plan ahead for when situations like this happen when you aren't expecting them.  Maybe make a couple extra meals at the beginning, and put them in the freezer for when dinnertime gets the best of you.

Areas for improvement during my Whole30:

1- Portion sizes.  I know I am supposed to eat until I start to feel full, and then wait a bit to see if I really am full or am a bit more hungry.  However, I usually just keep eating.  This is not a good thing, and I want to stop it NOW when I am still eating good foods.

2- Snacking.  I try not to snack during the day, but VERY occasionally I have a mid-morning snack.  This is usually an apple with almond butter or something similar.  I would say this happens once a week, maybe.  I do have an afternoon snack every day, but this is something I have always done - my kids get home from school and we have a snack and talk about our day, homework, etc.  I have a larabar pretty much every day, and man those things are good!  The habit that I want to curb is actually the after dinner "treat".  Right now it is some dried fruit and a small serving of cashews or a banana with almond butter, or some blueberries in coconut milk ( THIS is amazing!).  I know these are all compliant things, but I also know that I am adding in extra calories that I don't need, and they are instead a craving - I am not really that hungry.  I am also worried that if I let this continue, then post Whole30, it won't stop but instead will be chocolate and wine or something!  So I need to stop it TODAY.  I decided to give myself a plan.  After dinner I will brew some tea while I get the girls ready for bed.  I will drink it and relax while I read them their bedtime story and say good night.  Then I will brush my teeth right away! I am hoping that this will do the trick.  I think having a plan in place is half the battle, if not more.

Things that are working well:

1 - No added sugar.  I have found that I used to put sugar in a lot of things that don't need it.  When I made sweet potato in the past, I would put cinnamon and brown sugar on it.  Now it just has cinnamon, and I LOVE it!  I plan on choosing foods that don't have added sugar in the ingredients as much as possible.

2- I want to continue with a mostly paleo lifestyle when this is over.  I absolutely love to bake and cook, so I plan on continuing with this later - but I will bake with healthier ingredients and while I still plan on having the occasional cupcake or cinnamon roll, I want to do this even less than I did before.

3- Planning out ALL my meals has been great.  I am SO SICK OF EGGS.  However, I love that I have a game plan for breakfast because it is a lot healthier than just grabbing a bowl of Lucky Charms in the morning, because I haven't thought past my coffee yet.  I am planning on choosing breakfasts that are healthy and make me look forward to getting up in the morning, and then putting them on a rotating schedule so I am not eating eggs. every. day.  I am excited for when I can have avocado toast or yogurt again.  I am interested to see how the reintroduction period goes, and to see how certain foods affect me and in what way.  I will then use this information when planning out my menus in the days to come.

I am thankful that I chose to do the Whole 30 because in addition to looking at foods in a different way, and using this time to try and curb my food habits that are not helpful to me in the long run, I have also developed a new appreciation for food! I know that when I am finally able to sit and have a donut, I will ENJOY it and not just scarf it down and end up having two! I will be able to savor it for what it is, and then move on.  I will be able to choose those foods less, because I know what life is like without them, but I also know that it is okay to have once and a while.  I don't want to be a slave to food - I am the boss, and I want it to serve my purposes and not the other way around.   I also have learned a lot about discipline and what we are capable of doing if we just decide to do it!  I think this can spill out into other areas of life as well - training for that half-marathon that's on your bucket list? Yeah! Go do it! I bet you can do more than you thought you could.  And I promise you can do a lot more if you get off of your couch and at least try!

So that is where I'm at on Day 17.  Have you ever thought about taking the Whole 30 challenge?  Did you complete one? Tell me about it!

on kingdom service and being useful

As I began to pray over what I hoped this lent season would hold for me, I thought about what the purpose of the Lenten season is.  Essentially, it is an intentional time set apart for pause and reflection, for repenting from sin, and turning back to God.  I wanted this to be a time where I step back and not only ask Him to bring all my sin into the light that I might look hard at it and repent, but also to really look at my life through the lens of purpose and making a difference.  What does it mean for me in my life to build His kingdom?  I want to spend intentional time in prayer and journaling to seek answers to the questions that I have on my heart.  I also decided to undertake the Whole30 during this time.  It was something on my bucket list for 2016, and I felt it was really appropriate during this time because when you give up certain things, you make more room for something else.  When it comes to the Whole30, I am choosing to give up sugar, dairy, grains, and some other things, to make room for healthier foods like proteins, fruits, and veggies.  I want to give myself the full thirty days to see how I feel after making these good choices, and even though it will be hard at times, I know I don't have to lean on my own strength to accomplish it.  I also feel that holds true in the other areas of my life.  During this Lenten season, I want to focus on giving up fear of failure or of not doing enough, fear of being too weak to make a difference, or not having enough to offer, and instead make room for the healthier perspective that HE is strong and can manifest His strength in my weakness.  HE is enough and has given me everything I need to accomplish my kingdom service.  I listed to a really great talk called Kingdom Matters by Paige Benton Brown, and it was so so good.  I wanted to share a few of the things that she said, because this topic is where I am pressing in and asking the Lord about during Lent.

First, our purpose as the church (as in every believer), is to be in the world but not of it.  We meet as a body together for spiritual refreshment and to be well-fed and then go right back into the world to DO something about what we are learning.  We are to go where the Kingdom is weak and make it strong - to be the salt and light of the earth.  The purpose of salt is to enhance the flavor of food, and if salt is being used appropriately, you don't even taste it, but by it you taste food better.  It is the same for us - We are not to be the focus, but are to be used to help others focus on Jesus.  We are not to just stay safe in our little churches and keeping being fed and getting fatter in God's grace, but rather to get stronger in it, as we go out into the world and DO.

Second, each individual is given different gifts and talents in how they are to accomplish this.  Looking to the right or to the left at what He has given someone else and feeling jealous is not only sin, but it is a barrier to usefulness.  Being resentful of what we don't have keeps us from using what we do have.  She points out that everything is necessary that He gives you, and nothing that is necessary has been withheld from you.  Your kingdom service was tailor-made for you.

Lastly, no one can else can tell you what you should be doing, you need to look to the Lord.  Ask him what He wants you to do.  It's not about building a nice life for your family in your neighborhood, your community, your job.  It is about building His kingdom right around what is in front of you and with what he has already given you to make Him known in your neighborhood, your community, your job.

So that is where I am at, and I am asking Him to show me what He wants me to do, and asking Him to make me useful for His kingdom.  I am asking Him to replace fear with love.  I am not a liability, I am His daughter.  I don't have to be worried that I am going to mess something up or to feel unworthy to carry His banner.  He has called me as His own, every inch of my life has already been claimed by his blood, and so how can I not do anything but share His love with the world however He calls me to do it?

February Goals

Perhaps I will be a bit more punctual when posting my March goals, but here are my February goals even though the month is already half over.

Monthly Goals

- host a fun birthday party for Rory

- Read His Needs, Her Needs

- Read a parenting book (Give Them Grace)

- Begin the whole30!

- have a one on one date with each of my girls

Weekly Goals

-post on the blog weekly

- do a random act of kindness for a friend or stranger

- check in and build community on the Influence Network

Daily Goals

- get up at 6 am everyday to have quiet time before the girls get up

- read the Bible to the girls every night before bed

- List a gratitude every day (at least one!)

- Say one nice thing to someone else

- complete the daily prompt for the Spark Your Creativity online course I signed up for

As I mentioned in my earlier post, this month's focus is on love and some tangible ways that I have decided to do that this month are bringing a treat to share during fellowship at church on Sunday, baking cookies with my girls to share with a couple of my friends, and leaving a note ( or two) in my husband's lunchbox for him to read (and probably get embarrassed over in his lunch room).  Another goal I had was to set aside a few hours one morning before Lent started to really pray over where my heart was/is during this time and asking Him what resting in Him and abiding in Him really looks like.  I am participating in the She Reads Truth lent study, as well as some journaling and prayer exercises as I am wrestling with where God is calling me and what my kingdom service should look like.  I am thinking about writing a separate post specifically about that.

February happiness project

So on the heels of my January happiness project post, here's the February one ( I didn't want to forget again!).  Given that February is often associated with love due to Valentine's day, I figured that would be my focus for the month.  Originally I had designed it to be centralized on marriage, but decided to broaden it a bit.  I came up with four areas: 1) loving others, 2) loving my people, 3) loving myself, and 4) God's love for me.

For loving others, I thought it would be nice to do random acts of kindness each week, as well as sending little cards of encouragement to my friends.  I want people in my life to feel appreciated, (and maybe even some RAK for a stranger as well!)

Loving my people refers to my immediate family, and I want to especially make my husband feel loved this month.  This includes little proofs of love ( like making his coffee or putting a note in his lunch for him to find the next day).  I also want to make more time to really love on my kids - they are both so different, and I want to show them proofs of love that are meaningful to them individually, not just together.  I have a special valentines breakfast planned for them as well, and a little treat for them to have.

Loving myself means that I want to focus on health and wellness this month, specifically in the area of food and nutrition.  I decided to start the whole 30 ( today is day one!) and I am really excited about it.  I am planning on posting on that a bit more as I am on this journey, so stay tuned.

Today marks the first day of Lent as well, and while I didn't grow up observing the liturgical calendar, and I don't participate in Ash Wednesday services or anything, I still think that Lent is a great time to focus on the Lord, our redemption through His blood, and how we are in such desperate need of a Savior.  I want to spend time over the next forty days drawing close to Him and really seeking Him out.  I know that there is nothing that I need to say or do, that He already loves me and that regardless of my sin, I am forgiven and free.  This is not through my own doing, but because of what He has already done on the cross.  So as I think about love this February, I want to remember the greatest love of all - Him sending His Son to die for me, so that I might live.

on leaving a legacy.

I signed up for Ann Voskamp's newsletter a few weeks ago, and I opted for the one that sends you a bunch of stuff over the weekend, rather than a few things here and there.  It has become a bit of a Sunday morning ritual to sit with my coffee in front of the computer and read the articles and watch the videos that she has chosen to share with her newsletter readers.  One of the links was to a blog post that she had written a few days ago as an anthem for women.  It really encouraged me, and I highly recommend that you go read it first before reading the rest of this post.  I'll wait....

It's so great, isn't it?  That Ann really has a way with words.  My favorite part is where she writes:

"We are the women who make our lives about the cause of Christ, not the applause of men.

We are the women who live to express the Gospel, not to impress the Jones’.

We are the women who live not to make our absence felt, but to make Christ’s presence known.

We are the women who know it’s not about us and all about Jesus. "

So so good.  I thought two things as I read this, and those are what I wanted to share with you here.  One - I really felt convicted that despite my desire to want to share Christ and not to seek to impress others, I realized that part of me still wants to be known and to leave a legacy of sorts.  I want to do something that matters, and sometimes I think it is because I want to be making a difference, rather than seeking for Christ to make a difference through me. Instead, I want to be a woman who lives to make Christ's presence known, rather than to make my absence felt.  The second point I wanted to make is this - I have two young daughters and I want them to grow up to live the same way.  And the best way to help them do that is to model it for them.  I want to show them what it means to be a daughter of Christ and how to live as women that live for His cause and not other's applause.  I want them to learn how to live out the gospel because it is true, and good, and life-giving and not to seek the world's false claims of the same.  I want them to live as women redeemed instead of women still searching for what makes them worthy.  So I need to live all that first - with God's help, to His glory and praise.  That is a legacy worth leaving.