happiness project update

So I had said earlier that I hoped this months project of living intentionally would help me feel more energized and recharged - and when I am able to check off the day's task I do feel great.  However, it has been a lot more difficult than I anticipated - even finding ten minutes is a struggle sometimes.  I have done half of my list - which isn't too bad, but I am not great at giving myself grace.  In a way, I think this "failure" has been a good thing, because I am trying to learn to be okay with not checking every item off the to-do list and I am hoping that I can learn to be okay with doing my best.  I want to work on my perfectionist tendencies because all the completed to-do lists in the world won't make me happy if I miss out on my life and the lives of my kids to do it.  Ultimately, I think this list is serving its purpose, even if it isn't in the way that I originally intended it.

Now on to May's Happiness Project.  The focus for this month is going outside my comfort zone and challenging myself.  I wanted to try something new, finish something difficult, be okay with failure.  I had been thinking a lot over the past few days on what I would like to do. Here is some backstory on how I make my decision.   After admitting defeat too many times, I decided May would be about challenging myself to be healthy.  I will be trying something new by using this instagram account to document my journey.  I want to finish something difficult by coming up with a plan and sticking to it.  I want to be okay with failure in that if something doesn't work, I just try something else.  If I have a day where I don't feel that I did my best, I am not going to bully myself, but just try that much  harder tomorrow.  I want to make a change and I want it to be for the right reasons.  So that is where I am at.  And even though this is May's project, and we are only a little over half-way through April, I am going to start now.  Something like this can't wait, but by May I should have a better idea of what I want my posts to look like and how I want to push forward on this health journey.  And I don't have an end date in mind for this either - I am actually hoping to have this account be something I continue to post on well past May.  I want to do it for as long as it helps me succeed and hold myself accountable.  So here goes...

March Happiness Project // Finishing up the Whole30 and some other thoughts...

It has been a little while since I posted last, and that is mostly because my days have been filled to the brim with so many things that I had to let it slide.  There has been a lot on my plate lately, and I have been struggling with shouldering it all - but more on that later.

March's Happiness Project focuses on humanity and compassion.  Our family made a compassion list of things that we could do to show compassion and love to others, and decided to focus on one each week.  I had also decided to work on criticizing others and to give grace.  I wanted to work on becoming less defensive and to hold my tongue rather than speak out if I was upset.  It was hard to incorporate these things into the project though, because I had a hard time thinking back through the course of each day and remembering how well I did or didn't do.  I do better with specific, measurable action items, rather than something that I have to gauge using an opinion.  The Compassion List has been good though, and while we won't get it finished this month, I would like to continue to work on it, and maybe even add to it as time goes on.

So on to the Whole30.  We finished our thirty days, and are in the last week of the reintroduction period.  It has been so hard.  So hard.  The cooking and prep work, the saying no to so many things, the grocery bill, everything.  I am so ready for it be over.  However, I am proud of myself for doing it, and I feel like it made me a better person for it.  The discipline required is huge, and I learned I am capable of more than I thought.  I am also going to walk away from it with a renewed sense of healthy food choices.  I want to eat better, live better, and also give myself the freedom to have a treat or "cheat" and enjoy it for what it is without feeling guilty.  I want to avoid sugar when possible, because it is in so many things, but I also don't want to spend an extra hour in the grocery store just to read every label.  I didn't lose a lot of weight, but I feel like I have a better handle on my diet now.  I learned that I love to bake and I miss it, so more on that to come I think.

Lastly, I wanted to share about where I am at a quarter of the way through the year.  I am tired.  I feel like I always start each year with a fresh burst of energy and checklists for miles, and then somewhere along the way, I start to lose focus.  This year, it is not so much that I am losing focus, but changing focus.  I have been trying to fit too much in and I am not any better for it.  I need more margin and rest.  I need to give myself permission to rest.  I need to literally schedule it, because that is how I work best.  I am a list maker, a planner, a check list person, a note keeper.  That is who I am, and how I best function.  It is not how I keep track or organize my time that I am struggling with, it is putting the pressure on myself to fit more in.  Reading two books a month.   Working three jobs.  Saying yes when I should say no.  Feeling guilty when I want to rest instead of working on my to-do list.  I want that to stop now.  I want to start giving myself more freedom and white space in each day.  I want to bake more, blog more, rest more, read more (but one book at a time!)  I want to say yes to the best things only.  I even want to change how I finish the rest of my happiness project.  I am not abandoning it, but instead of several tasks, I want to just pick one.  What is the most important thing to work on?  What will bring the most joy to me?  That is what I will do from here on out.  Less is more I think.

I am planning on spending a few hours this afternoon working on my Powersheets three-month refresh and really thinking about what changes I want to make at this point to reflect the thoughts that I have been having.  So that is where I am at, and hopefully I can make more time to blog a big more on how I plan to go from here.  Until then...

February happiness project

So on the heels of my January happiness project post, here's the February one ( I didn't want to forget again!).  Given that February is often associated with love due to Valentine's day, I figured that would be my focus for the month.  Originally I had designed it to be centralized on marriage, but decided to broaden it a bit.  I came up with four areas: 1) loving others, 2) loving my people, 3) loving myself, and 4) God's love for me.

For loving others, I thought it would be nice to do random acts of kindness each week, as well as sending little cards of encouragement to my friends.  I want people in my life to feel appreciated, (and maybe even some RAK for a stranger as well!)

Loving my people refers to my immediate family, and I want to especially make my husband feel loved this month.  This includes little proofs of love ( like making his coffee or putting a note in his lunch for him to find the next day).  I also want to make more time to really love on my kids - they are both so different, and I want to show them proofs of love that are meaningful to them individually, not just together.  I have a special valentines breakfast planned for them as well, and a little treat for them to have.

Loving myself means that I want to focus on health and wellness this month, specifically in the area of food and nutrition.  I decided to start the whole 30 ( today is day one!) and I am really excited about it.  I am planning on posting on that a bit more as I am on this journey, so stay tuned.

Today marks the first day of Lent as well, and while I didn't grow up observing the liturgical calendar, and I don't participate in Ash Wednesday services or anything, I still think that Lent is a great time to focus on the Lord, our redemption through His blood, and how we are in such desperate need of a Savior.  I want to spend time over the next forty days drawing close to Him and really seeking Him out.  I know that there is nothing that I need to say or do, that He already loves me and that regardless of my sin, I am forgiven and free.  This is not through my own doing, but because of what He has already done on the cross.  So as I think about love this February, I want to remember the greatest love of all - Him sending His Son to die for me, so that I might live.

happiness project for January - a little late

I thought that I had already posted this, but I discovered that I wrote it, and then saved it instead of publishing it.  Oh well - here it is, a bit late...

I haven't blogged in a while about my happiness project, so I thought that I might do that.  January's happiness project is very much in full swing, I just apparently forgot to post about it.  January's focus is to "Study the Word" [ spiritual growth ].  This included reading the scriptures daily, memorizing scripture, and keeping a prayer/devotional journal.  I have been following along with She Reads Truth as I have been for over a year now, but I also wanted to add another study for this month.  I got "Open your Bible" by Amanda Bible Williams and Rachael Myers for Christmas, and I am enjoying this study.  It is literally about diving into the word and why it is important to do it daily.  This was a perfect study for this month's focus, and I am thankful that I chose to do it.  I also have been working on memorizing scripture.  I actually incorporated the goal of memorizing a scripture each week into my goals for 2016, so its not just a January Happiness Project goal.

I guess technically the point of the happiness project was to add a new focus each month, but to keep the old ones as well, although I haven't been keeping up with each focus area as much as I did during the month that it originated.  I do find that I write/blog more than I did before November however.  And I have decided to keep up with December's goal of documenting life into 2016, and plan on capturing as many moments on instagram as I can this year.

As far as the following months of my happiness project go, I am thinking about adding more to the project that I originally planned.  I am not sure what this looks like yet exactly, or if it is practical with work, kids, etc. but I am at least interested in trying it out.  I will post more about my thoughts on this later - probably when I discuss the happiness project for February, so stay tuned!

Day 30 - My thoughts after one month and December Resolutions

I am so glad I made it the whole month with blogging.  I did share them late at times, but at least I did 30 posts in all.  I did not do half of my cards of encouragement, because I forgot about them most of the time, but at least I did half.  I finished my "book" and I did my best to ignore the numbers both here and on Instagram.  This was a little harder to do, when it came to my business, but I have been  thinking a lot about my business Instagram, and if I am going to keep it up.  I feel guilty for not posting every day, twice a day, and it is carrying over into my personal account, and I have just been avoiding the whole thing.  This is not like me, and so I am doing a lot of thinking about where I want to go from here.  As far as feeling happier?  I am not sure I feel happier, but I do feel accomplished for finishing the month out, and I do think that I will continue to blog my happiness project from here forward, but will definitely not be posting every day.  I will be happy with once a week, to be honest.

As for my December resolutions, December's focus is on Parenthood - Spread Joy.
My resolutions are:
- Take time to listen
- Acknowledge the reality of people's feelings
- Make happy memories 
- Document life

The first two resolutions are pretty self-explanatory and I think that I need to work on the first one more with my older daughter, and the second one is geared more towards my youngest.  As far as making happy memories, this is the holiday season and we do an advent activity each day in December leading up to Christmas.  This is a great way to make memories, and the girls and I look forward to it each year.  I also plan on taking a photo a day in the month of December, as a way of documenting life.  I have heard of making a December Daily mini-album, and I am not sure if I will do this or not, but it is an idea to consider.

Day 21 - Thoughts on HP after 3 weeks

Once again I forgot to post this on the actual day it was to be posted, but Saturday's are busy around here and so now I am playing catch up again.  I will be glad when I no longer have to post every day, but I have found that it comes more easily to me than I thought.  I am still not a "blogger" and never will be I don't think, but I might try and do a better job keeping this up every once and a while.

As far as the notes that I was going to send - well I didn't send one last week because I forgot.  I worked a lot and we had appointments to go to and there was a million things to do.  I am lucky I only missed one day of posting to be honest.  I will try and send one this week, but we are going out of town for the holiday, so we'll see if that happens.

Day 14 - My thoughts on the happiness project after two weeks

Well, seeing as how I am writing this a day late, my thoughts are that it isn't easy to write every day with my schedule.  Weekends are especially tough, because that is when we try to cram everything in.  I do want to finish out the month, but I am sure I will not be blogging daily (maybe not even weekly) after November is over.  I have written my two encouraging notes as well, but have no clue whom to send the last two cards to.  I also think that mindfulness or gratitude would have been good topics to choose this month, because I find that as I am going into the holiday season, I am already thinking about all the things that have to be done and what time I have to do it in, and that makes me feel a little crazy.  Perhaps I will just use writing as my outlet to release the stress when it starts to develop.

Day 8 - A tool to help with my happiness project

As promised, I wanted to talk about the tool that I plan on using to help me keep my happiness project on track.  Gretchen Rubin used a chart that she tracked her resolutions with, and this tool is similar.  It is one that I have mentioned before, as I have been using since January to help with goal setting and tracking.  It is Lara Casey's powersheets, and I LOVE them.  I pre-ordered her new one year workbook, and I can't wait to use them again next year!  If you aren't familiar, they are worksheets that are designed for goal setting and are broken down into monthly, weekly, and daily sections.  I plan on organizing my resolutions into the appropriate sections and then using the worksheets as a checklist.  For example, in the month of November, I have "write a blog post" in the daily checklist section and "send an encouraging note to someone" in the weekly section.  I also tape these worksheets to my wall by my bed so that I see them often and can be thinking about my resolutions every time I do so.  Personally, I think you should check them out, happiness project or not, because they are a useful tool for anyone who wants to keep on track with goals, projects, and baby steps towards their big-picture goals and dreams.  Love me some powersheets!

Day 7 - thoughts on my happiness project after one week.

So it has been seven days since I started my HP and it has been good so far.  I am glad that I have managed to blog every day ( well, it has only been a week) and while I wouldn't say that my happiness has increased, I do feel a sense of satisfaction for keeping up with what I said I would do.  I think that as I continue to write throughout the month, it will become easier for me as right now, the words kind of stick in my brain and don't come out the way that I am thinking.  (That last sentence is a perfect example.)  I will be glad when I finish my "book" although as I write it, I realize what a lofty goal it was, and a bigger undertaking than I expected.  I also am in the camp of done is better than perfect when it comes to blogging, but I know that isn't the way you should write a book if you are taking it seriously.  And while I do take the subject matter seriously, I have no dreams of being published, so I think it works for me.  Tomorrow I am planning on posting about the tool that I think will help me keep on task with my happiness project.

Day 1 - The project begins...

And so we begin my Happiness Project.  Sometimes it seems like a huge undertaking, and I question the purpose of it, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time, so I think I am going to push forward.  I will take it a month at a time and go from there.  If nothing else, I will have tried, and that is something.  So November is National Writer's Month, and one area that I have been wanting to focus on is writing.  I thought it would make me happy to finish my book and to practice my writing skills by blogging.  I also think it would make me happy to make others happy, so I thought I would write some notes of encouragement.  Lastly, I want to ignore the numbers - page views, followers, words on the page.  I just want to have fun with it and see where it goes!


NOVEMBER - [ tell your story ] writing
resolutions:
1- practice writing (blog every day in the month of November)
2- work on my book
3- send weekly notes of encouragement
4- ignore the numbers

Okay, so far so good! Only 29 more days to go!

my focus areas

I finally decided on the areas I wanted to focus on and ended up coming up with all eleven. I figured if I was going to do this, I would do it right.  Deciding what order to do them was the hardest part because they all seemed important, and something I should start working on right now.  In the end, I decided some with a purpose behind it, and some just arbitrarily.  Here are my eleven areas:

NOVEMBER: Tell your story - Writing

DECEMBER: Spread Joy - Parenthood

JANUARY: Study the Word - Spiritual Growth

FEBRUARY:  The greatest of these is love - Marriage

MARCH:  Be kind - Humanity

APRIL: Outside the Comfort zone - Challenging Myself

MAY: Boost Energy - Vitality

JUNE: Pay attention - Mindfulness

JULY: You learn something new every day - Intellectual Growth

AUGUST:  Keep a Contented Heart - Gratitude

SEPTEMBER: Cultivate Relationships - Friendship

OCTOBER: Bootcamp Perfect - Happiness


 Looking at all the areas, and thinking about doing it for a whole year seems really daunting of a task, and maybe I am crazy to think about doing this, but I really feel like I have to at least try.  Not trying at all would be worse for me than attempting it and realizing I won't be able to see it through.

I still have to finish coming up with my resolutions and make up my charts, and then I will be ready to begin!

my personal commandments

In preparation for starting my Happiness Project, I came up with my own Personal Commandments.  Gretchen came up with her own when she pulled out the overarching principles of her resolutions.  I borrowed some of hers but mostly added my own
.
My Personal Commandments
1. Be Meghan.
2. Give grace.
3. Identify the problem.
4. Stop caring about what other people think.
5. Fail small, not big.
6. React accordingly to the size of the problem.
7. Let it go.
8. Savor your season.
9. Act the way I want to feel.
10. Always start with a list.
11. God is always bigger.
12. Remember Whose you are.

Now that I had come up with these, it was time to nail down the areas that I wanted to focus on.  I had already come up with nine, but were there any more?  And what resolutions did I want to come up with to help me in these areas?

"It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery and as much happiness as possible." - Samuel Johnson

I needed to break down these larger focus areas into smaller, more manageable resolutions if I was ever going to succeed at my project.

a new project

Goodness I love projects.  I love when a new idea comes, I love thinking about how to execute it, and I love starting them.  I don't always finish them however.  I realized this about myself and I also learned a few other things as well.  I just got done reading Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin and I learned a lot.  I highly suggest you read it for two reasons.  1- It's good.  2- I am going to mention some of her "lingo" here and probably won't spell it all out.  So it will be helpful if you want to follow along.

So I learned that I am an Upholder, and that I follow rules are are expected of me (such as the speed limit) as well as rules that I place on myself (such as exercising 5x a week).  It is this realization that helped me start getting up earlier.  I have always wanted to, but have always told myself that I was not a morning person so I just couldn't get out of bed.  After reading this book however, I decided that I could get up earlier if that is what I really wanted to do, so I did.  After all, I set the expectation on myself, and now I carry it out.

Another thing I learned is what I mentioned before.  I am not a Finisher.  I always suspected this to be the case, but it helped to name it, you know?  That means that I don't always finish every book I start (such as the five on my nightstand that I mentioned a few posts back).  I have started writing a book and didn't get past the introduction.  I began my cake business but then I abandoned it.  I have had very good reasons for all of the above, but I also think it is just in my nature that I don't always finish what I start.  I am not sure if I like this quality about myself, but I have also learned that in order to succeed, I need to work within my nature, not against it.

Okay back to the project.  Gretchen Rubin also wrote a book called The Happiness Project, and to me this was GOLD.  I loved everything about it.  I loved the idea of focusing on areas in my life that I wanted to improve, and breaking them down into smaller resolutions that, when followed, could contribute to a greater sense of happiness because I am growing in areas that I want to grow.  She did hers over a course of a year - she chose eleven areas she wanted to focus on and focused on a new one each month.  January was Vitality for example, and then when she started on her February focus (marriage), she also continued along with January's as well and so on.  December was the month she tried to do all the areas at once, a "Perfect Bootcamp".  Now this was years ago, and many have hopped on the Happiness Project bandwagon and I am very late to the party.  As a matter of fact, the Happiness Toolbox that she had developed to aid others on their own projects shut down about three years ago.  As I said, I am late.  I did see that a lot of people wanted to try theirs for a month or whatever, and I wonder if anyone tried to do a whole year like she did.

Well I decided that I was going to try my own project, and I was going to attempt to do the full year.  When I wrote out my areas however, I only came up with nine, and I think I will start there.  I am worried about my inability to be a Finisher, but I am still going to try.  If nothing else, it allowed me to look at the areas that I wanted to improve in my life and develop some helpful resolutions to aid me in this quest.

I am a perfectionist and I really loved the idea of starting in January and going from there, but I am also really excited about it, and the idea of waiting two months just to start wasn't going to work for me.  After all, part of her inclination to even start the project was because she wanted to prepare for - adversity - to develop the self-discipline and the mental habits to deal with a bad thing when it happened.  "The time to start exercising, stop nagging, and organize our digital photos was when everything was going smoothly.  I didn't want to wait for a crisis to remake my life."  I totally agree.  So I am going to start this in November, and go from there.  She did a LOT of research before she started, but I am not sure that I want to spend as much time preparing.  Especially because she did a lot of the legwork for me, and I am planning on modeling mine after hers in quite a few areas.

I feel a lot of guilt about not finishing things that I start, but I have found that most of the time I experience the guilt when I have told other people about my idea and then do not complete it.  For this reason, I may not share this project with others right away, except for my husband.  Or perhaps I will share it, but with the full disclaimer that I have no idea where this will go, but that I want to try.

I am going to spend the rest of the week preparing for the project, and coming up with my resolutions and then I will go ahead and begin in November!